joshguy

I had an excellent weekend. Sunday- my friend daniofthedead came over and we went to denny's and thenw ent to see SinCity. the movie was okay, but i had more fun talking to her during the movie. hehe.. then we went back to ym house where we continued to watch movie's. we watched Trainspotting and The Notebook. i ahd to know if she had a soul because if she didnt cry during The Notebook, she doesnt have a soul. period. because i watched it three times now and i cry each time. (im such a puss puss)

then i got to cuddle with her in the morning, even though she was sleeping and it was me putting my arm over her, it was still cuddling in my book. but now shes gone and im alone for another 1-2 monthes or so...

But on a more serious note... im actually taking action and goingt o go get help with my gambling addiction. i havent worked for 7 weeks because of my arm, and my mom has been kind enough to help me out with money, as long as i give her my tax refund checks. but all i have been doing is gambling the money away. it hit me today when she asked me if i was playing for real money (i sometimes just play with fake money, or play money as they call it) and i lied to her and said no. it actually upset me because its no differnt than when my brother would lie to her and say i need money for food or something and he turn around and buy herion. just lie right to her face and when he did, it hurt me so much. i just dont want to lie about a problem i cant control, like my brother. when i worked, it wasnt to bad, because it was my money, i didnt feel guilty when i lost it all. but when its someone else's, and someone you love's, it doesnt feel good.


If anyone knows any good clinic's by me or online stuff to help with addictions. please let me know. i think im ready to take this step. eerrr, im such a puss puss.

<3-Joshua Guy