You know, I never wanted to be one of those people who make some grand announcement about leaving and then do not. But I fear my rush to judgment might have been more out of haste than anything. This had once been an outlet for an honest reflection of my life, but somewhere along the line, I have felt the need to either not inflict my life onto you or to not become a person who has nothing good to say.
I truly believe...it's the trials and challenges that mold us into the people we are and establish our foundation of inner strength. So, while even though the world seems heavy today, I know that somewhere down the line, life will make sense in my mind again.
For the better part of 3 years, I have been combating against cancer. Not sure where to go from there, pretty bold statement to come out of me. It's only been the last 9 months that aggressive treatment has been required, and I'm assured that come either July or October...or somewhere in between, that I'll look back on this time in my life as a distant memory and never have to deal with it again. (Has anyone ever connected the idea that doctors and cable company people seem to have the same concept of time? We'll be there between noon and Monday...*wink*)
This fact in my life is known by as little people as possible because one thing I hate...HATE...is pity. And, I'm not wanting or needing an outpouring of that here...I just need to be honest, and I fear that I have been getting further away from that. Don't pity me, it could be much worse, and I have a tremendous support system...a few pillars I have even found here. SG has brought lots of wonderful people into my life and a few bright stars in my life who shine brightest.
So, for some time, that has been embedded in my life, and honestly, there are moments when I forget. I have a wonderful group of positive distractions in my life. That usually is until other challenges come into play. The other challenge lately has become my mom. Unfortunately, she has some sort of illness when it comes to money, and the result has come at quite a cost to me and my financial situation. It is incredible how someone can destroy or at least attempt to everything you worked for. Unfortunately, this tide has riffed the solid relationship that I depend on from my family. Every layer of this onion has uncovered a new obstacle to challenge me.
This is my attempt to not run. To not hide my life away. And to not take on the responsibility of censoring myself from people who care about me. I'm very protective of those that I love, as I'm sure we most are to some extent, and this is my attempt to be responsible for me and only me, and to try to believe that this isn't a selfish way to think.
So, if you made it this far in this chapter in the book of my life, I thank you for taking the time...no words are needed, just leave me a kiss.
I truly believe...it's the trials and challenges that mold us into the people we are and establish our foundation of inner strength. So, while even though the world seems heavy today, I know that somewhere down the line, life will make sense in my mind again.
For the better part of 3 years, I have been combating against cancer. Not sure where to go from there, pretty bold statement to come out of me. It's only been the last 9 months that aggressive treatment has been required, and I'm assured that come either July or October...or somewhere in between, that I'll look back on this time in my life as a distant memory and never have to deal with it again. (Has anyone ever connected the idea that doctors and cable company people seem to have the same concept of time? We'll be there between noon and Monday...*wink*)
This fact in my life is known by as little people as possible because one thing I hate...HATE...is pity. And, I'm not wanting or needing an outpouring of that here...I just need to be honest, and I fear that I have been getting further away from that. Don't pity me, it could be much worse, and I have a tremendous support system...a few pillars I have even found here. SG has brought lots of wonderful people into my life and a few bright stars in my life who shine brightest.
So, for some time, that has been embedded in my life, and honestly, there are moments when I forget. I have a wonderful group of positive distractions in my life. That usually is until other challenges come into play. The other challenge lately has become my mom. Unfortunately, she has some sort of illness when it comes to money, and the result has come at quite a cost to me and my financial situation. It is incredible how someone can destroy or at least attempt to everything you worked for. Unfortunately, this tide has riffed the solid relationship that I depend on from my family. Every layer of this onion has uncovered a new obstacle to challenge me.
This is my attempt to not run. To not hide my life away. And to not take on the responsibility of censoring myself from people who care about me. I'm very protective of those that I love, as I'm sure we most are to some extent, and this is my attempt to be responsible for me and only me, and to try to believe that this isn't a selfish way to think.
So, if you made it this far in this chapter in the book of my life, I thank you for taking the time...no words are needed, just leave me a kiss.
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gmkbm,bmb,
--guess who