I should be packing, I should be sleeping, yet here I am cruising around on the internet. Anything I suppose to delay the inevitable....

Catching a plane at 7am tomorrow, ah hell guess it is today now, Monday, to head back East to see Grandma.

All the family is going to be there.

I suppose it is that, the seeing the uncles and feeling the need to justify the existance I have had in the past 9 years since I have seen them, that is causing the knots in my stomach.

It is far easier to dwell on the shortcomings and the defects of them, all those long stored reasons for dislike, then it is to imagine Grandma, that little spark, so weak now, and dying.

The time is now to say I love yous and all those little things thought but never spoken...

*sigh* guess I have to go pack now.....