jordyn

I'm so excited about Halloween, even though I have no clue as to what i plan on being or even where I am going to party. I'll probably just end up in SC wandering Pacific St. going from friend place to friend place. but still I'm excited.

I can't say that halloween is my favorite holiday, thats reserved for St patty's, but i do love the festiveness of it. It is one of the holidays that every one likes to participate in.

So last night went to the Thursday show with my ex, the show was only OK, I hate the warfield the sound always sucks and the floor set up is not condusive for dancing, but anyway we were enjoying the show mocking the music, singing to each other, feeding off each others antics, and it made me so happy and so sad at the same time. I'm so glad the we have come this far in our post break up relationship but the real reason I was so happy, well I believe that we were supposed to meet each other were supposed to go through this drama of breaking up and in the end we will be good friends, I believe that he is my soul mate he has this way of when he walks in the room, to, with a simple head nod and a smile make everything better. We know each others thoughts and understand them, laying next to him is the single most vulnerable and protected place I've ever been. everything was and is extreme emotional oxymorons with us, and standing next to him interacting with him made me feel solid, complete. Sadly I knew that he wasn't mine that he was going to go home to a girlfriend and he was going to lay next to her and it would be a waste of that feeling b/c she doesn't care about him. I knew the scab had been picked but this moment and when i said goodbye my emotional high would be gone and i would bleed again. A point i should make is that we broke up 2 years ago and i have never this way toward the 5 people that i dated since, It's scary is what it is.

yeah thats all i have to say about that.