jordanrush

Have you ever had a dream that got crushed by a thing called REALITY? Yeah, happened to me.

So, I guess I'll be a Hair stylist..open up some punk rock glam shop and call that living? Do punk metalheads crazy hairstyles ... bullshit.

I just need a new latitude and new people. I'm tired of the same people complaining about the same shit. Tired of hearing the same voices. They never change!

Fuck, the future sucks! I still need my license damnit. I'm 19 without my drivers license..WTF? I know 16 yr olds who already have theirs.

I'm tired of this damn body. Why can't the fat just magickally disappear? The saddest thing I think I realized today was..Anorexia works. It has results. I don't care what you think or want to say to that. Take it as you want. But yes, I was sitting here and just thinking while chatting to my anorexic friend who somehow pulls it off and hasn't died yet.. Miraclulously..and she makes the damn disease seem so glamorous! That's what gets me. It's fucking horrible. I was..am..recovering (my ass) anoretic. I'm sitting here trying to deal with my own issues and here she is telling me how beautiful it is when you're starving and I knew that feeling.


What I hate even more.. having someone say they like you 'the way you are' and knowing from personal expierience..(hell, you think it yourself so that counts as experience, right?) that they would love to see you trim and fit and beautifully. Not an inch of skin hanging over the waist line...you know they want to see that indent of the ribcage.. It's sad. Maybe it's just me who feels this way and voices it.. I hate ti.. I feel like people are blowing smoke up my ass when they say I'm fine as I am. You know you'd love to see something better.

You crave it and I don't blame you... seriously baby, I don't.