jordan

i was going to say a whole lot. i had intentions of spilling more of my heart, then i think i do that way too much here. somtimes i feel this isn't the place. sometimes it feels awkward. you can already see me naked. sometimes i rip apart the skin, split into, and my guts spill out and my heart and i talk about things that maybe i shouldn't. sometimes people talk about things they shouldn't because they mean nothing. silly gossip. i think that's way worse. but whatever. who am i to judge my mouth is dry, this place is intensely quiet. today for some reason my mom told me some morbid news she's kept from me my whole life. a part of me wants to share it then a part of me is going no, don't. its not really morbid, i guess, it explains a lot about who i am and why i'm always searching for a brother/father figure or I dunno, and here i go again. STOP. this is a dead end road. if you wanna keep going you'll have to get out and walk and get to know the territory a bit more. crack sticks under shoes. the right path to go isn't always paved for you to easily drive down. feel the mud under your feet. the insects, the constant motion, the earth that breathes on