jora

When you feel down, watch this and it will kiss your booboos better! (SOUND REQUIRED)

* I need to keep the above link on my journal for a while to help me keep my sanity in tact.

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So... ashen_crib has officially moved here (San Jose) from Phoenix. The drive on Day#1 tested our love, let me tell you. We were both so damn tired that there were minor breakdowns on both our parts with a finale' of me being super bitchy (in general, not at him) when we got to the motel. After eating dinner, we both crashed out for about 10-11 hours. Talk about much needed sleep!
I knew it was getting dire when I started singing a song about cow balls (right before we got to the motel). It was quite the little diddy.

Because of my mother's busy-bodyness, my kitchen is now fairly clean. ashen_crib did some unpacking, so the apt. isn't as stressful to come home to. BUT, I still have a ton to do!! Now if I can just find the energy to do it...

Other than the cleaning up stuff, living with Brian has been great. I am still trying to adjust to being so happy. It is not familiar for me to feel happy and content. I don't know how to process it. I don't know how to react sometimes. I'm not used to being loved like this and part of me still thinks that I must be dreaming. The reality hasn't set in yet, I think. And by reality, I mean the good stuff, not bad stuff.

I've been putting all my energy into the leading up to this time that now that it has happened, I feel a bit scattered and lost. My self-esteem is wavering a bit, which is my own issue totally. I feel very secure in my relationship with Brian. It's kind of like being used to being a failure or not living up to your potential and now, all of a sudden, I am allowed to, expected to and want to do so. It can be kind of overwhelming to suddenly try to actually live life instead of hiding from it.

So..........bottom line. I AM A HAPPY GIRL!! (Except for my job, but that is another story and a crappy one, so I will leave that for another time.)