Well, vacation is over and I have to go back to work tomorrow. Damn! I was just starting to unwind. It takes me a few days to de-stress.
And, what a surprise, my co-wker (the one I missed while I was away) just called me to tell me that she won't be in tomorrow. She says that she is sick, but every single time I go on vacation or have a day off, she calls in right after I'm back (or due to be back). She takes her own days off and such, so I wonder why she feels like she's entitled to do it again every time that I'm gone. Go figure.
So, anyway, now this means that tomorrow is going to suck majorly. I was going to have a ton of work as it was. Now it's going to be out of control.
Odd fact, I haven't felt the need to take my anti-anxiety meds since I've been on vacation. I wonder if that will change when I get back. It'll be interesting to see if my anxiety is directly related to my stress level. I always thought it was rooted in a different issue. Hmm.
My mother is freaking out more and more as her surgery gets closer. She told my crazy cousin about it after she said that she wouldn't tell her (I KNEW that she would!) and now my cousin is also driving up with me and my mother's friend. Why should I even go? Jeez. It's becomming a party. Ok, I KNOW why I'm supposed to go...I'm her daughter and it is required. But I don't want to go. Wake me when it's over.
For the last 4 years, my mother has told me at least once a day that she wished she were dead and wanted to commit suicide. Now that her life is actually on the line, she is dropping that drama for the new drama of "I don't want to die!!!!! Waaa!" Not many people really want to die, but I find it sooo ironic that she has tempted the Fates so much and now look what's happened. That whole "be careful what you wish for" thing seems to be true, no? It's hard for me to have sympathy when she puts me through such Hell all of the time. The suicide threat alone is darn cruel to say to one's daughter. It's like the biggest "fuck you" a person can say to another. The biggest "you don't matter at all". Especially when I KNOW she doesn't really intend to do it. It's all drama she creates for attention. She is such a child. It makes me
.
What else? Hmm. I will miss my reading time. I finally got into the swing of reading again. The current read is great, and while I'm sitting in the uncomfortable office chair under bad lighting, I will be wishing to be curled up in bed with my book. Sigh... I am like a female Mr. Bemis from that episode of Twilight Zone where the USA is bombed and there's nothing left and he finds a library and gets all freaking happy because now he can read all the time without his nagging wife and crappy boss bitching at him....oh happy day, piles of books all around....then he bends down to pick up a book and HIS GLASSES FALL OFF AND BREAK. Oh, the irony and the agony!!!!!!!
I always thought, that would be my luck too, given the same situation.
Wow, I went on a tangent there...sorry.
Goodnight all.
And, what a surprise, my co-wker (the one I missed while I was away) just called me to tell me that she won't be in tomorrow. She says that she is sick, but every single time I go on vacation or have a day off, she calls in right after I'm back (or due to be back). She takes her own days off and such, so I wonder why she feels like she's entitled to do it again every time that I'm gone. Go figure.
So, anyway, now this means that tomorrow is going to suck majorly. I was going to have a ton of work as it was. Now it's going to be out of control.
Odd fact, I haven't felt the need to take my anti-anxiety meds since I've been on vacation. I wonder if that will change when I get back. It'll be interesting to see if my anxiety is directly related to my stress level. I always thought it was rooted in a different issue. Hmm.
My mother is freaking out more and more as her surgery gets closer. She told my crazy cousin about it after she said that she wouldn't tell her (I KNEW that she would!) and now my cousin is also driving up with me and my mother's friend. Why should I even go? Jeez. It's becomming a party. Ok, I KNOW why I'm supposed to go...I'm her daughter and it is required. But I don't want to go. Wake me when it's over.
For the last 4 years, my mother has told me at least once a day that she wished she were dead and wanted to commit suicide. Now that her life is actually on the line, she is dropping that drama for the new drama of "I don't want to die!!!!! Waaa!" Not many people really want to die, but I find it sooo ironic that she has tempted the Fates so much and now look what's happened. That whole "be careful what you wish for" thing seems to be true, no? It's hard for me to have sympathy when she puts me through such Hell all of the time. The suicide threat alone is darn cruel to say to one's daughter. It's like the biggest "fuck you" a person can say to another. The biggest "you don't matter at all". Especially when I KNOW she doesn't really intend to do it. It's all drama she creates for attention. She is such a child. It makes me
.
What else? Hmm. I will miss my reading time. I finally got into the swing of reading again. The current read is great, and while I'm sitting in the uncomfortable office chair under bad lighting, I will be wishing to be curled up in bed with my book. Sigh... I am like a female Mr. Bemis from that episode of Twilight Zone where the USA is bombed and there's nothing left and he finds a library and gets all freaking happy because now he can read all the time without his nagging wife and crappy boss bitching at him....oh happy day, piles of books all around....then he bends down to pick up a book and HIS GLASSES FALL OFF AND BREAK. Oh, the irony and the agony!!!!!!!
I always thought, that would be my luck too, given the same situation.
Wow, I went on a tangent there...sorry.
Goodnight all.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
thanks for your wonderful post about dealing with my gramma's passing. a solo trip might be so very good for my soul.