So, yesterday I was all boo hoo because I felt sad and lonely...well, today it's creepy because I feel NOTHING. What is that about? I am an empty shell. And it's not like it's depressing me or upsetting me...thus the feeling nothing part.
I am in shock about one thing though. My mother, with whom I haven't had the best relationship with so far, told me today that she wants to buy me a new car. Brand new, cash, paid in full. Now, I know at first read this sounds great, but usually money comes instead of love and usually after money comes, I am hit with emotional abuse. The bigger the ticket item, the bigger she attacks...so you can see my concern. Do I want a new car (truck actually)? Of course. Do I want to forever feel in her debt. Hell no.
I've been trying very hard lately to be a "good daughter" and she commented on it the other day. She actually said "thank you" to me for all I've been doing for her. I think that she wants to give me something so big that there is no way that I can ever repay her. That way she wins, has the control, feels like the better person. It would be like her Trump Card. No matter what she asked of me, I could never say no. I could never get angry with her, call her on her BS because if I do, it'll be, "After I bought you that truck...!"
So what to do? My truck seem okay. It's 10 years old, but runs fine, looks fine. Do I take this gift and worry about trying to stand firm on my boundries later? Do I politely refuse it? Comments would be appreciated.
All tuckered out now,
jora33
I am in shock about one thing though. My mother, with whom I haven't had the best relationship with so far, told me today that she wants to buy me a new car. Brand new, cash, paid in full. Now, I know at first read this sounds great, but usually money comes instead of love and usually after money comes, I am hit with emotional abuse. The bigger the ticket item, the bigger she attacks...so you can see my concern. Do I want a new car (truck actually)? Of course. Do I want to forever feel in her debt. Hell no.
I've been trying very hard lately to be a "good daughter" and she commented on it the other day. She actually said "thank you" to me for all I've been doing for her. I think that she wants to give me something so big that there is no way that I can ever repay her. That way she wins, has the control, feels like the better person. It would be like her Trump Card. No matter what she asked of me, I could never say no. I could never get angry with her, call her on her BS because if I do, it'll be, "After I bought you that truck...!"
So what to do? My truck seem okay. It's 10 years old, but runs fine, looks fine. Do I take this gift and worry about trying to stand firm on my boundries later? Do I politely refuse it? Comments would be appreciated.
All tuckered out now,
jora33
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I dunno about the truck. Has your mother being going to therapyy or some sort of 12 step program? She could really be trying to make amends and she doesn't know of any other way to do so. Your probably right though.
I would talk to her about why she is doing this and why your are afraid of taking her gift.
The 'beast' was that big, but I took the pic close to it and stood back (for good reason) so it looks bigger than my head... it was only about 6 inches long! Greated me in Queensland one morning!
As for emotional blackmail... tricky one, not sure of the answer! Good luck!!