jora

So, I was actually social today. I think I'll rate today a B+. I went out to dinner with a longtime friend that I rarely see and actually had a good time. I was able to sit at a table with strangers at Beni Hana (my friend's choice) and not freak out that I was sitting with strangers. I even made a friendly comment or two to some business man guy. It felt very surreal though - to be out of the house, in a restaurant full of people, watching my friend drink when I know that she's an alcoholic. It's after 1am now and I should be asleep a long time ago, but it's hard for me to "turn off" (if that makes any sense). Once I get going, I tend to dwell (obsess?) on it until it's not possible anymore. I feel "up" from being in the outside world and don't want the good feelings to end. Sigh...

Still lonely though. I want a girlfriend. Not that boys are bad. Oh no, they are not. But girls are softer and that's what I wish I could curl up to right now. Boo hoo and all that jazz. There is no girl.

Goodnight.

jora33