jooniper

Last night I got some bad news when I was writing the last entry, which is why it's so short and obtuse. I ended up having a full-out fit, balled up and crying on the floor, ripping out my hair. It was not pretty. Kim came over at 3 AM to help distract me. That was awesome of her. She also helped me shift around some furniture and organize some things to prepare for another, more extended visit from my sister.

Today I'm dealing a lot better. I really shouldn't be so emotional about this situation. I don't even want to write about the situation itself because it sounds like such a ridiculous thing for me to be torn up about- but unfortunately matters of the heart and common sense rarely coincide.

Plus, I've just been emotional lately. I finally gave myself permission to feel things after a really long period of giving myself guilt for the things that essentially make me human. So, everything is sort of melodramatic right now. But, it's good. Acting like a robot was easy, but avoidance sort of defeats the purpose of living.

Onto a different subject... I've been catching up on the Six Feet Under episodes I missed when I watched the series the first time. It's a whole lot different once you know what happens in the end. Still very emotional, though. And it got me thinking about these beautiful photos I saw a while ago taken by an undertaker/photographer. I envy her life. I would love to give proper credit and recognition to her, but what she does is illegal, so I wont.

I'll just link to them, since they are potentially jarring. Click at your own risk.

post embalming

prep room

102 years

injecting

draining

calvarium