jonostack

i'm sick as a mofo and the sun's coming up.......grrrrrrrrr

but at least the robotusin makes me see little red and blue swirlies everywhere.......

i believe at times I may glorify my emotions to myself......i'll believe a certian feeling is stronger than how anyone else feels it.....or i'll find a situation that fits that same raw emotion and compare my feelings to it.....an example is the idea of the first man and woman....created by god and then turning against him....instead of believing that adam chose to eat the forbidden...
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Conversations with God:

theres a problem here..something Ive hidden away for years now.and I need to let it go.Ive tried to go on.like nothings wronglike Im okay with it..i thought I may just be overly sensitive or paranoid.but thats not it.its not the drugs..its not just me.weve all changed and distanced ourselves.im more guarded.more dismissive..and quicker to give up..

I wonder if I saw more...
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i remember the back seat....the couch....the bedrooms......
the feeling of holding on to a moment of passion forever......
it felt like falling......falling forever.....completely weightless.....
i remember the passionate kisses....the tender lips.....the taste...
the long looks from across the room....you staring into my soul.....
holding my breath for fear of losing it completely....until i had to let it go....
i remember your skin against mine....the warmth...
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i'm sitting here listening to the new tori album 'the beekeeper'........reading Dune: The Machine Crusades thanking the stars that i don't have to work today.....i'm so completely drained from being a slave of corporate america.....it's the most incredible feeling to be alone without interruption for hours at a time.....i've no errands to run, no people to deal with.....just me.....and my introspection.....this is a beautiful day........
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i wiped the tears from her cheeks....i touched her amazingly soft pale white skin....now slightly slippery from her salty tears....it reminded me of how she feels when we fuck....i dismissed the thought, disgusted with myself that i could think that way at time like this....i have to be the pillar....a foundation....someone for her to lean on...

she lost herself....she's lost a piece of me. i...
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Those who creep through keyholes and open doors that should remain closedawaken the most primordial of emotions and fearsI slept, cold and alonei was startled awake from an ominous voice in my dream.the voice was from a proud man that raved on and on about the secrets the moon had told himsecrets that shouldnt have been shared. Maybe it was the spiritual surgery they preformed..maybe...
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The Dali party was phenomonal.....an absolutely amazing flemanco guitarist accompanied by an equally talented artist on a drum box made the night seem immortal.....Dali's quote: "I don't take drugs, I am Drugs!" was going through my head all night......the collection of works there were astounding. He was truly a brilliant artist that could see beyond reality. He had such an amazing understanding of optics.....i am...
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Off to the Salvador Dali 24 hour birthday party.....with lotz of chemicals in my system, so this should be fun......

everyone have a good time tonight.....be safe.....and remember Arive Alive....buckle your safety belt....