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jonnyeffinb

Member Since 2005

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Monday Oct 05, 2009

Oct 5, 2009
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I'm sort of in the mood to just blather on aimlessly on this topic, pardon me as I think out loud for a moment.

So I guess technically I haven't asked a girl out since I was 20, plenty of crushes since then, but never bothered to ask anyone out. My confidence was rather crushed for most of my early-mid 20's, which may explain part of it.

I'm definitely more confident now than before, but probably still a bit put off by old experiences. It's much easier just being told, "I'm not interested," than what's usually happened to me.

I don't usually like to talk too much about this subject since it can come across as "whiney" to some people, but I must say it was very strange when I turned 27 this past June and I contemplated the fact that I've yet to date anyone. Ever. Unless you count "Crazy Sheryl", the girl who told me she was in love with me five hours after we first met, built a Jon shrine and then stalked me and all my friends...all within the course of about three or four days. For the record, I don't exactly count that. Heh.

Though given my experiences with serial rejection and just plain weirdness (crazy people aside), I don't really think I'm bitter. I don't hold a grudge, I don't blame anyone, I just chock it up to bad luck. Nor is my situation unique, so I definitely don't think I have it that bad.

It's more annoying than anything really, sometimes frustrating because I'm not really sure where to go from here. My dad has never been terribly great at the father-son women advice thing, he was 35 when he married my mom, and from what I know he didn't really date anyone until he met her. I suppose that in and of itself isn't what scares me, but something my mom told me back when I was sixteen; she admitted to me that she had never been in love with my dad, even though they were married up until the moment she passed away. I've always found something unsettling about that.

I would love to try to get back into the dating game again, but I'll admit that I really don't think I know how, I'm rather aimlessly adrift when it comes to this sorta thing.

That's probably a bit more than I've really ever shared on here before, oh well.

Oh, and here's a pirate smiley! ARRR!!!

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