It's been a hard year, the person I thought I would spend my life with left me at the beginning of the year for someone she met in a chatroom. My dad, who I had been taking care of, passed away back in March. I've managed to spend most of the time with my head above water, I manage to keep myself laughing, because I know its important to try and find joy in what you can.
But I'd be lying if I said things don't get to me. Especially lately as whenever I'm out and about people inevitably ask things like how I'm going to be spending the holidays. I'm obviously not going to bog a stranger down with the loss of my dad, so I just kind of smile and shrug and say I haven't figured it out yet.
I'm not exactly sure the point of what I'm writing is. I know I can't really express myself anywhere else. I'm caught between wanting to express how I feel to people, but I feel guilty about coming across as looking for attention.
I know it's only been a few months since I've been back on SG, and I haven't interacted with a whole lot of people, but the people I have gotten to know I truly appreciate. The people I've spoken to, whether it's some of the girls who stream on live, or just the other people I joke around with in the chat on those streams, it's actually been very meaningful for me. There have been a few times when I've been feeling pretty down, but getting to make someone laugh ended up making my entire week better.
In spite of the sort of depressing beginning of this blog. I think I want to end it on a cheerful note. I truly wish everyone here on SG a wonderful holiday season. You may not know me, or know me that well, but I love you--all of you--and I hope all the best going into the new year. And in the immortal words of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, be excellent to each other, and party on dudes.
