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jonee

90292 and 85053

Member Since 2005

Followers 29 Following 33

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Saturday Jan 28, 2006

Jan 27, 2006
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I will always feel, and I will always care. I wish it was my enemy but I'm still waiting here for you to hold my hand, for him to steal my breath, for him to pick up the pieces of promises never kept.

He moves in slow motion silently as the rain, as the rain falls down. Everything is still as he moves to me. Stand still, stand still, stand still.

Maybe I'll be better on my own. Why does everything disappear when all I see is you alone and his love moves slowly.

This time now I'm dying for you to call my name. I wait too faded so you can tell me that I'm not alone.

I'm still waiting. I'm still fighting. Break me from this sleep so I can believe in me. Or give me the solution so I can start dying. Realize... started in me.

I start to ache.

Bleeding Through - "Love in Slow Motion"



Yeah, so that was my emo post for the day. I loovvve Bleeding Through, though. I've been listening to The Truth on a fucking loop since the day is was released.

Anyway, point being that, Josh just... needs to make up his mind about us. Whether we're going to keep on keepin' on or... not. I love that boy, probably more than I have loved anyone in a long time. Present circumstances hasn't even changed that in me. I just can't stand the ever growing void between us. I've pretty much grown accustom to the fact that boys will play video games a lot more than they'll pay attention to their girls. Granted, yes, I love me my video games, but boys love them a lot more than girls ever will. I've grown used to the fact that I just won't ever be included in some things because I'm not one of his other friends, and I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with, is the fact that he told me to shut up. No. Don't ever tell me to shut up and be serious about it. It will piss me off without a doubt. He told me to shut up about an hour ago, and my responce was "Have fun fucking yourself because you won't be fucking me." Immediately after I said it though, I completely regreted it. Honest. I even went around to corner and swore at myself under my breath. When I swallowed my pride enough to go apologize he'd left in a pity party and hasn't spoken two words to me since. That's just being a cry baby. I can't handle it. Either break up with me or get over it, but stop dwelling on it, please.

Someone just shoot one of us.

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    Monday Feb 20, 2006

    Bad habbits, bad habbits Picked a few up, nine years in this game
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