1am Update. Can't sleep.
I found out earlier today I have a doctors appointment in late May which means I can't go on my trip to Europe. Unfortunately, I can't get in earlier nor can I prolong it.
A routine physical last year put a scare into me. I found out I have "progressive heart failure" or something like that. I'm told there's nothing that can be done to "fix" anything, just a few medications to help me. It's weird, no one thinks about the possibilities of this happening to them at 20 years old. You think about having a good time, doing whatever you want with no care in the world. That's great and all, but just one little incident can change your life for the worst (best?). Only on a rare occassion is it for the best.
I have my whole life ahead of me to do whatever I want and to do the things I want. There are a lot of things I want in life too, but it's just a matter of time before they happen. Thinking about all of this gets me very scared and depressed.
I'm supposed to have a family, a wife, 2 kids, a house. I'm not supposed to be alone, relying on new age medicines just to keep me alive.
So I've been keeping a personal journal of the events that have been happening in my life lately. It feels good just to get my thoughts on paper and reread them and see how much of an ass I would have made out of myself. But they're there for me to learn from the past and to better prepare myself for the future.
What's one of your biggest fears?
I found out earlier today I have a doctors appointment in late May which means I can't go on my trip to Europe. Unfortunately, I can't get in earlier nor can I prolong it.
A routine physical last year put a scare into me. I found out I have "progressive heart failure" or something like that. I'm told there's nothing that can be done to "fix" anything, just a few medications to help me. It's weird, no one thinks about the possibilities of this happening to them at 20 years old. You think about having a good time, doing whatever you want with no care in the world. That's great and all, but just one little incident can change your life for the worst (best?). Only on a rare occassion is it for the best.
I have my whole life ahead of me to do whatever I want and to do the things I want. There are a lot of things I want in life too, but it's just a matter of time before they happen. Thinking about all of this gets me very scared and depressed.
I'm supposed to have a family, a wife, 2 kids, a house. I'm not supposed to be alone, relying on new age medicines just to keep me alive.
So I've been keeping a personal journal of the events that have been happening in my life lately. It feels good just to get my thoughts on paper and reread them and see how much of an ass I would have made out of myself. But they're there for me to learn from the past and to better prepare myself for the future.
What's one of your biggest fears?
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well one of my biggest fears is expounded on quite a bit in my current journal