Hey James Patterson: I'm sick of your TV ads bragging about how riveting every chapter you write is. You're not a writer; the last 1000 novels you've published are credited to "James Patterson and [insert name here]" because you're too fucking dead inside to write anything. Hacks like me (but luckier than me) wrote y...our last 20 books. Fuck off, die, and along comes a spider to shit beautiful words on your face.
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UGH!