bitter sweet

absolutely horrifying and absolutely incredible

love hate relationship

portland is all of that and more


I am really scared to go back
Thanksgiving is going to be insane.

I will probably cry.out of happiness

and sadness

these eyes will be blood shot...full of tears of sorrow and tears of joy

Missing her is so hard

Missing her for the first holiday...i dont know what to do

without YOU I would be a total wreck these days

You save me you save me you save me


My soul feels empty sometimes

more then i let you know

you can read me

but i can hide


I hate that i do

i hate it

i love you and you make me happy

you and music are all i live for anymore..

not like in a hey im depressed and if i didnt have you id be dead way

in a you make me so happy its all i care about doing anymore

i just want to be with you

and write music alongside you all day

i want to be there with you

and hide from emotions

Its so easy to hide from what is scary

Confronting portland and thanksgiving without her will be good and completely ridiculous!

so i need to sit and record music somehow on my own

when we get back ill get a job

and ill keep busy

i love you.......

RIP CAS 3-15-05



SO SO PRETTY!






and once again
SO SO PRETTY!!![