jon_

After college I thought if I had all the boxes checked, all I needed was a woman and my life was complete. As a result my life ebbed and flowed as women came and went in my life. It was like a stock market facsimile and my attitudes or other issues sank or rose depending on my love life. My roommates and friends used to document it and always looked forward to the soap opera that was my love life.

However I pulled the plug on all that not too long ago and reached the conclusion that happiness was within me, not dependent or riding on the fortunes of others. I've been traveling to different areas and doing different things, and that was a panacea for me, a realization of several dreams and a chance away from everything and a time for healing and moving on. It was a turning point of setting my own course and not letting others do that or let them control it.

I think looking back now, my difficulties I had in relationships and the turbulence often happening was due to my own dissatisfaction with myself at the time, and surely the women around me sensed that. Now I like who I am, accepted who I am, looked at my faults and sought to improve them. And people that don't like me, well I really don't care. I mean it's nice to have comments, good and bad, but I don't really care that much.

Ultimately I think there is a reason God put men and women on the earth and that is to complement one another. Would it be nice to have someone kiss me goodbye when I go to work or have someone care about me when I am sick? Sure, but not at the expense of just having anyone. It has to be someone that has a lot of positives, because otherwise the drama isn't worth it. Rather would be alone then. I don't mind my own company.