jolene

at lunch today, i found an ugly orange sticker resting it's dried gluey goodness on my windsheild. it beckoned all it's eyesoreness to me and shouted...

"HEY. I AM OBNOXIOUS!"

and after a minute or two, of soaking in this asshole on my car, i reply.

"HEY. FUCK YOU!"

and make a weak attempt at tearing it off. low and behold, the orange rectangle beheld wisdom upon it in the form of text. it had, in sans serif, something to the extent of "hey lady, you parked in the pcc school parking lot without a parking pass. if you do it again, you'll never be able to park here again. that means you would be fucking screwed. so knock it off."
i decided at this point i only had two options to defeat this hateful message : 1. paint it black and write in white letters atop it "VAGINA" or, the more preferable method... 2. remove the heinous thing. i began to hatch my plan (#2) as i drove home to pick up my forgotten math book. i arrived back at the school (and yes, i parked in the parking lot again). i became irrational and decided to light the bastard ablaze. it did not work, however, it did melt the glue just enough for me to remove a good portion of it, which i finished doing once the sun had beat down on it to do the rest of the work for me. it is now a crumpled ball on my dashboard mocking the security and facility at portland community college, showing once more that i cannot be defeated.

the end.