johnsonboy

I was good tonight. I ended up going to open mike night. Gave them 3 poems. Sometimes at a reading I mean what I say. lately that hasn't been the case all the time. I've had a great many doubts about whether I should get up in front of people and pretend to be interesting.
But I know what I've put into the poetry--a lot of hours in solitude, years of it, with all due diligence. If I keep that in mind I can maintain a positive mentality and actually kick ass in the reading.
That's what I did tonight. During the reading I could see some people were concentrating hard on what I was saying. I like it better when they're smiling. But one person especially, a woman I know a little bit, was really concentrating hard. I made eye contact briefly during the poems and it gave me strength. I don't always know, in fact I almost never know, whether what I'm saying is making any difference. Whether people can hear and understand me.
But I could see it in her eyes. She got it and wanted more, and it was up to me to give it to her. That's what I was there for.
Afterward she complimented me but I was too embarassed to say much back to her. The moment was over.
The moment used to last a long time but now there's too much going against it.
But it's still good. It's like milk or vitamins.