Childbirth at 65
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.
'May I see the new baby?' I asked
'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'
Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'
'No, not yet,' She said.
After another few minutes had elapsed,
I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'
'No, not yet,' replied my friend.
Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'
'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.
'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'
'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?
OK... time to share incidents from my past. Of course, I tend to remember the humorous ones more. I lived in South Philly and was 17 years old when this incident occurred...
___You know my mother came one time and tell me, JohnnyU, lately they be robbing in my house. Don't worry Mami, I'm gonna fix the problem. What you want me to do? I want you to buy me a police dog. A police dog? Give me five hundred dollars, I promise I'll get you a police dog. Now I'm walking with five hundred dollars, and I love to play a lot of video games, so I stop in the pizzeria and I spend the whole five hundred dollars playing games. Then I came to think about oh my god, what am I gonna tell my mother? She say to buy her a police dog.
____So I'm walking down the street, I look down the block and there's a skinny Doberman dog.
His hair was coming out, he was walking kind of slow. I said I know what I'm gonna do. I pick up that dog, and I put him in a box. I went to the store, buy him a can of Alpo. He ate it. I went to my Mami's house. Mami? Yes. Did you bought me the dog? The police dog? Yes, you will love it. I got it, I'm going to show it to you. All right, it's inside the box. Now can I have two hundred dollars? All right, here thank you. How much you pay for the dog? Well six hundred dollars. So she opened the box, she said come on police dog. The dog was coming out of the box all smelly, stinking, moving slowly. She say JohnnyU what, what? What's wrong with that dog? He stink, he skinny his hair is falling, he ain't no police dog.
___I said, shh shut up Mami, he's an undercover cop Of course, that's when Mami made me take it back and we got Rinty instead!.
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.
'May I see the new baby?' I asked
'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'
Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'
'No, not yet,' She said.
After another few minutes had elapsed,
I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'
'No, not yet,' replied my friend.
Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'
'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.
'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'
'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?
OK... time to share incidents from my past. Of course, I tend to remember the humorous ones more. I lived in South Philly and was 17 years old when this incident occurred...
___You know my mother came one time and tell me, JohnnyU, lately they be robbing in my house. Don't worry Mami, I'm gonna fix the problem. What you want me to do? I want you to buy me a police dog. A police dog? Give me five hundred dollars, I promise I'll get you a police dog. Now I'm walking with five hundred dollars, and I love to play a lot of video games, so I stop in the pizzeria and I spend the whole five hundred dollars playing games. Then I came to think about oh my god, what am I gonna tell my mother? She say to buy her a police dog.
____So I'm walking down the street, I look down the block and there's a skinny Doberman dog.
His hair was coming out, he was walking kind of slow. I said I know what I'm gonna do. I pick up that dog, and I put him in a box. I went to the store, buy him a can of Alpo. He ate it. I went to my Mami's house. Mami? Yes. Did you bought me the dog? The police dog? Yes, you will love it. I got it, I'm going to show it to you. All right, it's inside the box. Now can I have two hundred dollars? All right, here thank you. How much you pay for the dog? Well six hundred dollars. So she opened the box, she said come on police dog. The dog was coming out of the box all smelly, stinking, moving slowly. She say JohnnyU what, what? What's wrong with that dog? He stink, he skinny his hair is falling, he ain't no police dog.
___I said, shh shut up Mami, he's an undercover cop Of course, that's when Mami made me take it back and we got Rinty instead!.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
slevinjones:
So Strange you are = P
mrsted_stryker:
LMAO THANK YOU!!!! That made me laugh first thing in the morning! ok s its NOON here and I am just rolling out if bed... but I might as well sleep as much as possible!
