WOO HOO! Spring Break is here..... and I have come to leave a dent in this tiny island of South Padre.
First I feel I must explian my circumstances, I set up my trip through a site called StudentCity.com for me and Imy best friend Nivoldoog. Nivoldoog then bitched out of coming for some mildy retarded reson of that he's going to school, but had time to go to Marti Gras, Judas! Also I spent amlost 32 hour of travel from Afganistan to get here and I was smelled bad. I smelled as if I had been beating with a rotting skunk with mange, that also is how I can descibe how I look too. When I finally make it to Brownsville,there is no ride waiting for me. I call the company and they tell me that my ride will be there in an hour. Two hours later I say fuck it and get a cab to go to the island. The cab driver seems nice and help put my bags in and allows me to smoke in his cab, but as soon as we start driving he gose balls to the floor nuts; speeding like hell, swerving in and outta traffic while screaming into his radio in spainsh taking small breaks to insult people he is speeding around. I get to the hotel and get into an agruement with a security guard about letting me in, he says I need a bracelet to get in. I need to get in to get the bracelet so I can get in, God mocks me by repeating this moment throught my life. After several minutes of insulting each other, a rep comes over and lets me in now threating the guard with his job. After apologies around, I get my room and settle in by taking three, hour long shows. That's right, I took a shower, finished and then jumped right back in. After changing into the only civilian clothes I have, I then proceed over to the welcome party where I meet Rich. Rich saw me when I came in and thinks I'm a cool guy for severing my county, I immidaitly decide he is my new friend. He then starts pimpimg me out to everybody, telling them Im a soilder and that I have been depived of male nessictiys for several months. Now everyone want to do a shot with me. After shot ten of tequlia, I start dancing with some black girl who thinks Im funny insulting some ugly girl dancing on stage. I got about a minute into the song befoe all ten shots bitchslaped me for there services, causing me to move each limb involintary making me a great dancer apperently. She says something about white boy having rythem and then I completly lock up like I have tetnus and fall to the floor. I get helped up a border patrol guard and and we kicks me out of the club, time for another fight, DING DING! I start yelling that I was having a good time and that I should be let back in, he is telling me I'm to drunk and yelling that I'm not even there yet. He says get some rest and let the alchol get outta my system, making me come up with a very bad idea. I then proceed to punch myself in the stomache as had as I can untill I thrown up, all over his pants. I laugh like a fucking hynea saying, " There, it's all out now" He then threatens police action whereas I then scurry away before he makes good on his promise. I tried sneaking back in but I got caught again and was led back to my hotel room and pass out on the floor. Good first night.
First I feel I must explian my circumstances, I set up my trip through a site called StudentCity.com for me and Imy best friend Nivoldoog. Nivoldoog then bitched out of coming for some mildy retarded reson of that he's going to school, but had time to go to Marti Gras, Judas! Also I spent amlost 32 hour of travel from Afganistan to get here and I was smelled bad. I smelled as if I had been beating with a rotting skunk with mange, that also is how I can descibe how I look too. When I finally make it to Brownsville,there is no ride waiting for me. I call the company and they tell me that my ride will be there in an hour. Two hours later I say fuck it and get a cab to go to the island. The cab driver seems nice and help put my bags in and allows me to smoke in his cab, but as soon as we start driving he gose balls to the floor nuts; speeding like hell, swerving in and outta traffic while screaming into his radio in spainsh taking small breaks to insult people he is speeding around. I get to the hotel and get into an agruement with a security guard about letting me in, he says I need a bracelet to get in. I need to get in to get the bracelet so I can get in, God mocks me by repeating this moment throught my life. After several minutes of insulting each other, a rep comes over and lets me in now threating the guard with his job. After apologies around, I get my room and settle in by taking three, hour long shows. That's right, I took a shower, finished and then jumped right back in. After changing into the only civilian clothes I have, I then proceed over to the welcome party where I meet Rich. Rich saw me when I came in and thinks I'm a cool guy for severing my county, I immidaitly decide he is my new friend. He then starts pimpimg me out to everybody, telling them Im a soilder and that I have been depived of male nessictiys for several months. Now everyone want to do a shot with me. After shot ten of tequlia, I start dancing with some black girl who thinks Im funny insulting some ugly girl dancing on stage. I got about a minute into the song befoe all ten shots bitchslaped me for there services, causing me to move each limb involintary making me a great dancer apperently. She says something about white boy having rythem and then I completly lock up like I have tetnus and fall to the floor. I get helped up a border patrol guard and and we kicks me out of the club, time for another fight, DING DING! I start yelling that I was having a good time and that I should be let back in, he is telling me I'm to drunk and yelling that I'm not even there yet. He says get some rest and let the alchol get outta my system, making me come up with a very bad idea. I then proceed to punch myself in the stomache as had as I can untill I thrown up, all over his pants. I laugh like a fucking hynea saying, " There, it's all out now" He then threatens police action whereas I then scurry away before he makes good on his promise. I tried sneaking back in but I got caught again and was led back to my hotel room and pass out on the floor. Good first night.