johnnythsaint

I did a stupid thing today. I made one of the very few people I really care about really fucking mad at me because I didn't think about what I was doing. I fucked up and made her worry needlessly and I did it for an incredibly stupid reason. I would never in 10 million years intentionally hurt her and I hope she knows this about me, but I know that she has been treated badly by lots of people lots of times before, so it was that much worse that I did what I did having that knowledge. Some days I just really earn the title of asshole that I've saddled myself with over the years. I hope more than anything that she will forgive me and we can move past this. I'm already feeling completely miserable knowing that she's hurt and it's my fault. I love her and I want to kick my own ass for being shitty. Now I guess I'm gonna try to get to sleep even though I already know I'll be tossing and turning all night if I can even close my eyes.