johnnythsaint

I've been feeling a lot of stress lately about things beyond my control, whether it's the future and what could happen, or just how shitty people can be. I have to keep reminding myself that just because these things are ineveitable and sometimes things just will not turn out how I want them to does not mean that I have to just sit back and let it all happen to me. I've been through an amazing amount of horrible shit throughout my life and I'm still here and I'm usually a fairly easy going guy, even if I don't look it. Anyway, I have a song I wrote that is to remind me that I can handle this shit, I have a tattoo that people think is a war monger thing that is actually there for the same reason. The tattoo is a big bomb on the back og my left arm, from shoulder to elbow with a banner that says BOMBS AWAY, the song is called Bombs Away also, here it is...
Bombs Away

bring it on, gimme all you got
I'm still standing, you've gone to rot
lived through hell and gone back for more
lock me out, I'm still coming through the door

FIRE AT WILL, BOMBS AWAY
NOTHING YOU GOT'S WORSE THAN YESTERDAY

kicked in the teeth, I'm still fuckin standing
took on the world, I'm still fuckin standing
slit my throat, I'll just stitch it shut
when the end comes, I'll still be standing up

GO AHEAD, DROP THE BOMB ON ME
WHAT DOESN'T KILL ME, SETS ME FREE

can't take me down with an atom bomb
took a stroll through hell and I'm walking on
I use the knife in my back to scratch the itch
bulletproof, indestructable son of a bitch

FIRE AT WILL, BOMBS AWAY
NOTHING YOU GOT'S WORSE THAN YESTERDAY

Sometimes I read that song and think it's easily misconstrued as TUFF GUY bullshit, but it means a lot to me. It reminds me that the trauma and drama that I have been through are part of what made me who I am today. I'm pretty proud of myself for surviving a lot of this more or less intact and there's no way anything is gonna take me down easily from here on out. I have a tendency to focus on the negative things that COULD happen to everything good that comes my way and so my natural reaction is to just expect to get smashed down again, but I'm sick of that. There's some things that I want and it's well worth the risk, so fuck what MIGHT happen down the road, it's time for me to make things happen. Wow, this is getting pretty personal and I really just wanted to say that I'm making a commitment to myself to make every attempt to make things happen for myself from here on out, no more shooting myself down before I get off the ground.