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johnnytailback

Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Member Since 2005

Followers 20 Following 56

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Wednesday Feb 01, 2006

Feb 1, 2006
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"I don't really want a boyfriend. Just someone to take me out for Valentine's Day."

Thats like giving the homeless four measly cans of tomato soup for thanksgiving and then ignore their poor asses the rest of the year. Makes no fucking sense. You just want to feel special because you think everyone else is gonna have a date. They wont. Get on Myspace, if you can't get a date there you are beyond help.

"Fuck Valentines Day. Lets make it an all girls night out."

Most likely you'll go to a club, with the deep hidden intention of meeting a guy, possibly dumping all your "girlfriends" if a guy comes along. The girls who do this are loser chicks who need an excuse to bitch even more about how they cant get men. Or they'll gather together and gobble chocolate and get even fatter.

"I've never had a date for Valentines Day"

And you probably never will. If your love life sucks, accept it. Your perfect person isnt going to appear out of nowhere on Valentines day. Be depressed that you have no one. I can imagine these women with the Debeers commercials running through their heads as they cry themselves to sleep. Dont make attempts to change your pathetic love life overnight just because of some fucking holiday. It'll make you even more depressed when you fail. And you will fail. More chocolate?

"Guys have to spend money on gifts and stuff boohoo"

Now is a good time to request anal or that threesome you've had your eye on. That is, if you do a good enough job.

"Valentines Day is a corporate run Hallmark-made holiday blah blah blah."

Yes it is, its hard to say love your other half even more on this day, the day that a Roman who was martyred [beheaded] for refusing to give up Christianity. Way to go Claudius, martyrs are the Romans bread and butter.
Eat some chocolate, go masturbate, and shut the fuck up.


Julius: what the fuck is up with Valentines Day? Could that be a shittier holiday?
Julius: guys get nothing
Sister: Im not doing shit. Just fucking
Julius: exactly
Julius: guys have to get flowers or do some shit---but girls? They just give up the same shit I had the night before.


I think what's sadder than a bunch of like lonely secretaries getting together to share a quesadilla platter on Valentines day is the fact that some guys need a holiday like this to kick their un-romantic arse into gear. And you get these like rednecky arseholes around here who get their girlfriends like gold-plated roses and shit. Whatever you do, just go all out or don't, I just don't wanna hear whining.

I've never expected anything special from my exs and they didnt either. I did out of habit, get the mother and girlfriend in one fell swoop. Maybe Id Just get like extra good/long head or something.

Cheers.

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