I'm actually alive and busy. Oh, It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. I'm dealing with schools unusually complex issues which, given the level of intelligence and reason that exist in the administration, require an attitutde that wants to seize the day with heavy machinery... but It's hard to seize the day when you must first grapple with the morning.
Also there are quite a few new people around who are daily validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. I guess I expected a bit to much from them, like help, and information. That's the trouble with life in general; you're half way through it before you realize it's a 'do it yourself' thing.
There are two things I've been asked recently by people I wouldn't expect. The first being where do the things I say come from, as if I'm at home planning out my day script by script.. Well, heres the deal. I flood my head with information. Any information. Lots of it. And I let it all slosh around in the back of my brain, in the part normal people use for remembering bills, thinking about sex and making appointments to wash the dishes. Eventually, you get a critical mass of information. A bunch of stuff knits together and lights up and youve got whats called an idea". Mine just happen to be made of transvestite sheep sharing parachutes and television sets made out of organic eyes and ears. Most people say I think therfore I am as if it's a reason for what they've done or are about to do. I say I think, therefore, I am... not related to you. And I'm not, our ideas where never ment to meet.
I have hope, but only where applicable. I think about my human condition, and question how I live my life. I think, philosophize, and reflect, which contrasts against my happy-go-lucky facade. I have my deep personal side, and my masks for everyone else to see.
I like to see things work before I try them and I just have yet to see a realtionship work. In the true sense of the word. If I'm dating someone I want our feelings ot be on the sme basic level. Also, someone whom makes me want to do things I normaly wouldn't do, and be something I wouldn't be otherwise. And I'd want it. These things are all promised by all of the people I've dated and While I may not hold all of you in high regard I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about all of you. That and being in love is just the triumph of imagination over intelligence. I'm quite fond of the balance I have untill someone can make me see differently.
Besides I've always prefered writing. I can do anything there. And for that brief moment that your writing, where its all flaring and welding together, you are Holy. You cant be touched. Something impossible and brilliant has happened and suddenly you understand what it would be like if Pigs could fly with jet fueld handgliders, hijacking planes to free the meat of there slaughtered bretheren all over the skys of square states inbetween, stuffed full of amphetamines and suffused with Sex Radiation. It's beaming Sex Rays across the world while your brain is all lit up with Holy Fire. If you felt like it, you could shag a million nuns and destroy their faith in Christ. From your chair.
See, this is the good bit about writing. Its what keeps you going. Its the wild rush of shit, did I think of that? with all kinds of weird chemicals shunting around your brain and ideas and images and moments and storyforms all opening up snapsnapsnap in your mind, a mass of new and unrealised possibilities.
That's what gets me up now.
More witty and interesting anologies later on, but for now I'm going to drink Vodka for the rest of my life and live myself to sleep.
|| What I'm Listening to ||
1 Badly Drawn Boy - This Is That New Song
2 The Fall of troy - F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X.
3 Iron & Wine - The Trapeze Swinger
4 Armor for Sleep - Dream to Make-Believe
5 Badly Drawn Boy - Once Around the Block
6 Cold War Kids - The Soloist In The Living Room
7 Death Cab for Cutie - 405
8 Death Cab for Cutie - Company Calls Epilogue (alternate take)
9 American Football - The One with the Wurlitzer
10 American Football - Never Meant
11 The Decemberists - Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect
______________________________________________
Also there are quite a few new people around who are daily validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. I guess I expected a bit to much from them, like help, and information. That's the trouble with life in general; you're half way through it before you realize it's a 'do it yourself' thing.
There are two things I've been asked recently by people I wouldn't expect. The first being where do the things I say come from, as if I'm at home planning out my day script by script.. Well, heres the deal. I flood my head with information. Any information. Lots of it. And I let it all slosh around in the back of my brain, in the part normal people use for remembering bills, thinking about sex and making appointments to wash the dishes. Eventually, you get a critical mass of information. A bunch of stuff knits together and lights up and youve got whats called an idea". Mine just happen to be made of transvestite sheep sharing parachutes and television sets made out of organic eyes and ears. Most people say I think therfore I am as if it's a reason for what they've done or are about to do. I say I think, therefore, I am... not related to you. And I'm not, our ideas where never ment to meet.
I have hope, but only where applicable. I think about my human condition, and question how I live my life. I think, philosophize, and reflect, which contrasts against my happy-go-lucky facade. I have my deep personal side, and my masks for everyone else to see.
I like to see things work before I try them and I just have yet to see a realtionship work. In the true sense of the word. If I'm dating someone I want our feelings ot be on the sme basic level. Also, someone whom makes me want to do things I normaly wouldn't do, and be something I wouldn't be otherwise. And I'd want it. These things are all promised by all of the people I've dated and While I may not hold all of you in high regard I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about all of you. That and being in love is just the triumph of imagination over intelligence. I'm quite fond of the balance I have untill someone can make me see differently.
Besides I've always prefered writing. I can do anything there. And for that brief moment that your writing, where its all flaring and welding together, you are Holy. You cant be touched. Something impossible and brilliant has happened and suddenly you understand what it would be like if Pigs could fly with jet fueld handgliders, hijacking planes to free the meat of there slaughtered bretheren all over the skys of square states inbetween, stuffed full of amphetamines and suffused with Sex Radiation. It's beaming Sex Rays across the world while your brain is all lit up with Holy Fire. If you felt like it, you could shag a million nuns and destroy their faith in Christ. From your chair.
See, this is the good bit about writing. Its what keeps you going. Its the wild rush of shit, did I think of that? with all kinds of weird chemicals shunting around your brain and ideas and images and moments and storyforms all opening up snapsnapsnap in your mind, a mass of new and unrealised possibilities.
That's what gets me up now.
More witty and interesting anologies later on, but for now I'm going to drink Vodka for the rest of my life and live myself to sleep.
|| What I'm Listening to ||
1 Badly Drawn Boy - This Is That New Song
2 The Fall of troy - F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X.
3 Iron & Wine - The Trapeze Swinger
4 Armor for Sleep - Dream to Make-Believe
5 Badly Drawn Boy - Once Around the Block
6 Cold War Kids - The Soloist In The Living Room
7 Death Cab for Cutie - 405
8 Death Cab for Cutie - Company Calls Epilogue (alternate take)
9 American Football - The One with the Wurlitzer
10 American Football - Never Meant
11 The Decemberists - Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect
______________________________________________