I was cleaning today with virgilnhell and got lost in thought. Specificaly the one where I was taking of of those trips I take but this was because I wrote this short back when I first moved here and apparently one of those calls I get where I think someone is selling something and I just say yes, you know the ones? Well I agreed to publishing it. In the pouring rain getting there, due to the incumbent navigational FUCK UPS which accompany every trip I take anywhere other than NC;go go Gadget grid pattern!
Anyway, by the time I got there I was late, and soaking just a little in rain and self-loathing. Jerrica helped me out with some clandestine Skittles action for awhile, but the crinkling packet atracted the attention of the lady sitting next to me. She looked like a snooty li'l strumpet so I decided to be as obnoxious as possible.
The woman looked pretty put out by the end of it, but in that cold, detached way that learned upper-crusts use when they know you're no threat to their embezzled Norman chateau.
I feel a bit bad about all of it now. Not just because I was caught out being an arsehole, but because I'm generaly caught out being an arsehole. I think maybe, just once, I'd really like to do something like that and get away crisp and clean. Imagine not having to pray for a malignant Maturity Tumour to spring up under your skull every time you wanted to leave the house. In a perfect world, you could buy competence at Coles. And sensitivity. And black pudding.
Anyway, it's in the past now. I'm planning to never get anything accidentally published anywhere ever again, so it's not like I'll have to set a place for the clean nosed at my next Cheese Party.
Other than that nothing's been happening, but I have wondered about plenty of things. I came up with a few other things to add to my hate list. Things that are generaly annoying and make me forget about my classy no-fun-at-all British-catholic upbringing.
Anyhow, here's five new entries.
One People who use "well...in some cultures" to make a point.
Shut the fuck up, you are way outta your element. Odds are you have yet to ride your vespa out of the tri-state area.
Two, Guys who ride those stupid little motorcycles.
The whole point is to overcompensate for your small wiener, and you're doing the complete opposite. Not to mention how fucking LOUD this shit is. Like expecting a sandstorm and around the corner comes a bumblebee. Anticlimactic? that' how women feel when they see you.
Three, People who claim to be anti-drama.
All the stupid bitches are always saying "leave your drama at the door" or some shit like that they're the ones who are all about it. They're also the same people who are like "keep hating I love it."
Four, Fat people who think they'll look thinner with a tan.
Five, Guys who put on way too much cologne.
It should be like a nice breeze, not a punch in the face. It's usually the nasty ones who pour it on too. If you are nasty I dont want to go near you, never mind smell you from five feet away.
Six, People who are afraid of change.
I can understand being apprehensive about moving, but seriously, stop freaking out over day light savings time. It's one fucking hour. I go in to take a shit, I come out and it's over. Stop acting like your whole life is in shambles.
Seven, People who only like art that's "pretty"
Or "because it makes me happy" aka "because I don't have to think."
Eight, Fat/ugly people who, for some reason, think that because they are disadvantaged in that area that intellectually they are above others.
Like somehow nature rewarded them brains in exchange for looks. There are unattractive people who have great personalities and intellect, which makes them attractive. But don't automatically say "Yeah I may be fat/ugly but you're stupid," which would fly if you really were smarter, but most likely people who say that are fat and a moron. If you were smart you wouldn't be 300 pounds overweight. There are morons who are skinny, and that's unfortunate but they can still make fun of you for being fat. Hey, I don't make up the rules.
Nine, "Look at me now" people who used to have bad self esteem for whatever reason and now must prove to everyone in their past, present, and future of their new-found confidence.
You shoudl be doing it because you have a probelm with the way you where. if you where happy then why change? But if you know how to push their buttons you could basically destroy all that confidence in seconds, and when that happens it's better than finding the holy grail.
Ten, Activist wannabes.
They are not doing it for the cause, but only to be part of something. They define themselves by "activism" when some are not even well-informed enough about anything to have an opinion. This is a problem on both sides. Pen and Teller: Bullshit for example, went to one of the rallys and attempted to get people to sign a petition against H+ an OH-, saying that "it was everywher ein the enviornment" that's it. Not even why they were against it.
they go over a hundred signatures. against hydrogen ion H+, and a hydroxylion, OH-. Which together make h2o. These people signed a petion against water.
Bah. More to come infrequently.
Anyway, by the time I got there I was late, and soaking just a little in rain and self-loathing. Jerrica helped me out with some clandestine Skittles action for awhile, but the crinkling packet atracted the attention of the lady sitting next to me. She looked like a snooty li'l strumpet so I decided to be as obnoxious as possible.
The woman looked pretty put out by the end of it, but in that cold, detached way that learned upper-crusts use when they know you're no threat to their embezzled Norman chateau.
I feel a bit bad about all of it now. Not just because I was caught out being an arsehole, but because I'm generaly caught out being an arsehole. I think maybe, just once, I'd really like to do something like that and get away crisp and clean. Imagine not having to pray for a malignant Maturity Tumour to spring up under your skull every time you wanted to leave the house. In a perfect world, you could buy competence at Coles. And sensitivity. And black pudding.
Anyway, it's in the past now. I'm planning to never get anything accidentally published anywhere ever again, so it's not like I'll have to set a place for the clean nosed at my next Cheese Party.
Other than that nothing's been happening, but I have wondered about plenty of things. I came up with a few other things to add to my hate list. Things that are generaly annoying and make me forget about my classy no-fun-at-all British-catholic upbringing.
Anyhow, here's five new entries.
One People who use "well...in some cultures" to make a point.
Shut the fuck up, you are way outta your element. Odds are you have yet to ride your vespa out of the tri-state area.
Two, Guys who ride those stupid little motorcycles.
The whole point is to overcompensate for your small wiener, and you're doing the complete opposite. Not to mention how fucking LOUD this shit is. Like expecting a sandstorm and around the corner comes a bumblebee. Anticlimactic? that' how women feel when they see you.
Three, People who claim to be anti-drama.
All the stupid bitches are always saying "leave your drama at the door" or some shit like that they're the ones who are all about it. They're also the same people who are like "keep hating I love it."
Four, Fat people who think they'll look thinner with a tan.
Five, Guys who put on way too much cologne.
It should be like a nice breeze, not a punch in the face. It's usually the nasty ones who pour it on too. If you are nasty I dont want to go near you, never mind smell you from five feet away.
Six, People who are afraid of change.
I can understand being apprehensive about moving, but seriously, stop freaking out over day light savings time. It's one fucking hour. I go in to take a shit, I come out and it's over. Stop acting like your whole life is in shambles.
Seven, People who only like art that's "pretty"
Or "because it makes me happy" aka "because I don't have to think."
Eight, Fat/ugly people who, for some reason, think that because they are disadvantaged in that area that intellectually they are above others.
Like somehow nature rewarded them brains in exchange for looks. There are unattractive people who have great personalities and intellect, which makes them attractive. But don't automatically say "Yeah I may be fat/ugly but you're stupid," which would fly if you really were smarter, but most likely people who say that are fat and a moron. If you were smart you wouldn't be 300 pounds overweight. There are morons who are skinny, and that's unfortunate but they can still make fun of you for being fat. Hey, I don't make up the rules.
Nine, "Look at me now" people who used to have bad self esteem for whatever reason and now must prove to everyone in their past, present, and future of their new-found confidence.
You shoudl be doing it because you have a probelm with the way you where. if you where happy then why change? But if you know how to push their buttons you could basically destroy all that confidence in seconds, and when that happens it's better than finding the holy grail.
Ten, Activist wannabes.
They are not doing it for the cause, but only to be part of something. They define themselves by "activism" when some are not even well-informed enough about anything to have an opinion. This is a problem on both sides. Pen and Teller: Bullshit for example, went to one of the rallys and attempted to get people to sign a petition against H+ an OH-, saying that "it was everywher ein the enviornment" that's it. Not even why they were against it.
they go over a hundred signatures. against hydrogen ion H+, and a hydroxylion, OH-. Which together make h2o. These people signed a petion against water.
Bah. More to come infrequently.