johnnyfive

i believe i've concluded my celebrations for my birthday. i had an awesomely wicked 80's party friday night that was a total blast. i wore excessively tight jordache jeans, a pink oxford, and a super-thin, black, leather tie with neon paint spatters on it. there was a dance room complete with disco ball and vintage 80's albums checkboarded throughout the entire room. we had tab, a rubix cube, atomic fireballs, and potato sticks. people danced until five in the morning.
i, however, did not stay awake the entire time. i did the johnnyfive-slip-out around three and fell asleep on my couch downstairs. i was told by my roommate that he came down to check on me around four or five and there was a girl trying to rouse me saying, "c'mon, johnny, let's go to bed." and kept tugging on me. he suggested that she not bother, because i sleep like a rock. but when i wake up this morning, my jordache jeans were off, leaving me mostly clothed otherwise and looking like tom cruise in risky business. but the idea of someone fucking with me when i'm passed out and vunerable is kinda creepy.
so now i'm 30. i guess that means i get to check the next box up on the age demographic on surveys and forms. i don't feel 30. or at least i don't feel like what i thought 30 would feel like all these years. the worst part right now is dating. every girl i'm interested in ends up being nearly a decade younger than me. at one point last night i was chatting with this very cute female that was dressed all rad and stuff, having a good conversation and finally i ask her how old she was...
she was 20. fuck all. it seems like anyone that is my age and single, is single by default. they're either crazy, undesirable, or some other defective quality that makes them undatable. yet i seem to be undatable. maybe i am crazy. maybe i am undesireable. whatever may be, it seems that my age and my youthful demeanor may finally start to clash.