johnnyfive

yesterday seemed like it was going to be okay. i had a long skate session and worked hard for nine plus hours. i went to the burger joint down the street when i got off around midnight to have a few drinks and flirt with the video trivia machine. this is an okay place for me to be johnnyfive. i like it; minimal socializing and food and drink and trivia. then the cook gets off and asks if i want to go to the real bar for last call. i shouldn't have gone, like i always shouldn't have gone, but i went like i always go and there i was with PBR and jagermeister in my drunken paws at two in the morning. the room or rooms, rather, are filled with smoke and people. my contacts itch and i feel like i'm peering through cataracts, oh wait, isn't that girlblue?? and i think i see the SME and "civil war vampire", but where's the evercrush, and pet sounds?? eh, i'm drunk like the rest of the bar and i saunter out (at least in my mind i sauntered, it probably looked like stumbling) behind these three chicks that looked like they were extras in a "sex & the city" episode. looking at a friend of mine i motioned to them and gave them a thumbs down while making a raspberry noise. well, one of them saw me and got all "up in my face" and started to tell me off. i apologized and said that my "loser opinion" didn't matter but her salvo of verbal abuse was too much. i had enough of that...
doo doo feces, as jacko would say and unleashed my drunken wit upon her. i think i likened her make-up to an umpa-lumpa and said she was dressed like my mom dressed in the 80's. i didn't mean to be an ass, but i just couldn't take her reaming me for my little billy madison joke. oh well, ten minutes later, i'm home in bed waiting for sleep and a hangover.
when i wake up, i see my two lovely animals dozing on my bed with me. they immediately start to lick and rub on me. there love and appreciation is without warrant or request, but always there. while i'm out under the guise of a heavy nightcap, looking for love like a bad country song, these creatures merely bide their time with food and rest until they can express there love for me upon my return, if i am willing or sober enough to accept there snuggly offerings. it makes me feel like a bad dad as i gather my things and head to work. "work will be short and i will be extra good for you tonight...we'll cook dinner and watch the simpsons." i think as pet each animal companion on their poised head, "i'll make up for it, i promise." and i kiss toby one last time. as i walk down the street and the pavement tapers into a sinuous, gravel road i think about the irony of love. it's not where you look, but where you don't. when you stop looking it appears. to see it you have to not look. and i think to myself, "am i learning?"