johnnyfive

it's snowing like god's dandruff, coating each house in my town like the frosting on a gingerbread house. did you know that no two pieces of god's dandruff look alike? that's what i thought as i held out my warm palm to the sky and caught some of snow crystals in my hand. they glimmer like tiny clusters of stars for a jiffy (did you...
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with the new year waxing like the full moon that rests under the cover of daylight come new beginnings; the turning of a new leaf. with all of the leaves abandoning their hosts, leaving them bare and stretching out to the winter sky with their veiny limbs, it's hard to find a leaf that is unturned. this is the story of a leaf that i...
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yesterday seemed like it was going to be okay. i had a long skate session and worked hard for nine plus hours. i went to the burger joint down the street when i got off around midnight to have a few drinks and flirt with the video trivia machine. this is an okay place for me to be johnnyfive. i like it; minimal socializing and...
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when the drudgery of one's daily life becomes an onus instead of a ecclesiasical gift; when one's occupation becomes less vocation and pecuniary obligation and more of a source of self-identity, when would-be feminist viragoes become the passive mates of mindless dones that form delussional opinons from expurgated television news programs; when you see our government being run by political puppets and public icons, oh...
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i got a kickbox (for skateboarding) free from some old redneck that used it for a stage for his buddies bands when he threw parties. i had to drive out to the boonies and latch this huge monstrosity to a tiny truck and haul it through a precarious, sinuous, barely-beaten path. then drive it through campus and downtown to get to my place, but alas...
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my mom wants to move up here and have me live with her. i told her i'd rather not. i just can't be living with my mom when i'm 30, i make fun of guys like that.

i watched "bruce almighty" and i'm afraid i liked it. i'll be the first to admit, i like bad flicks. but i find jim carrey to be a...
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it started off as a good and pious christmas eve. i was alone with the aminals , cooking some pasta, and watching "nestor the long eared christmas donkey" on dvd. i did a lot of "spring cleaning" and took the recycling to the curb. i even managed to get in a good skate session. then i had a glass of wine at midnight and took...
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so this really cute girl was saying she thinks she's falling for me...
and i say, "nah, cute girls don't fall for me, they don't even trip...in fact their gait is totally unaffected by my presence."
after saying this i felt that woozy feeling in your tummy when you really like someone and it feels like your insides were just dropped off a ten story...
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okay, so the xmas party went off without a hitch. i think even the beautiful whore hugged me goodbye and told me we should be better friends. the highlight of the night was my secret santa for octavia, a male stripper. her and my "ex girlfriend" oiled him up and danced with him as we gave out presents. it was actually really funny and it's...
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i was talking to this really cute girl and i was telling her how i say "de do" after every thing i say de do. and she was like, "no you don't" de do. and i was all, "dude! i totally say "de do" after everything i say de do." de do. so she starts laughing and she even snorts or maybe it was a...
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so today i took penis enlargement pills and used a penis pump. i think that my midget girlfriend will finally be pleased,'