In order to get this started I must first relay an anecdote from work. Basicly a guy came in and was trying to find a token of some sort to get his love for Vday. For some reason he had difficulty finding the giant pink and red display in the front of the store, so I had to lead him to it. He ultimately chose an obscenely large stuffed dog... or bear... or something, I don't know, but it was fucking big.
"I'm sure she'll love it", I said, with obvious disdain and the fakest smile I have ever worn.
Apparently he thought I was judging him based on the cost of his gift. (I really was only pissed because he took me from my work at 2am for a fucking stuffed dog.) He felt the need to let me know that he spent "a lot of money" on a ring for her, and that the dog was just an "opener".
Oh... now I feel better about you asshole. For a minute I thought you were a sincere gentleman that wanted to put a smile on his girl's face. My bad... you're actually just a cunt.
$$Money$$Money$$Money$$ - it says what the heart is unable to. Actually, the heart says it just fine, it's just that there is no audience to hear it.
Valentines Day is not about love, or roses, or whatever pink colored shit you can find and put chocolate inside. NOPE! Vday is about $$$$$$. Or more precisely, it's about proving that you have love, and proving that you are worthy of love buy paying for it (by/buy... see what I did there?). It's all a sham.
I don't blame this guy for feeling so insecure that he had to explain to me, a fucking grocery store employee, that a stuffed animal is not all he was getting for his woman. It's not his fault. It's the gold digging cunts out there that makes us men feel that way.... I can't blame the gold digging cunts either. It's all they've been taught growing up, and now, they are ruined. All of them.
Thats not to say that if I had money, I wouldn't buy nice things for someone I loved, but it wouldn't be such an important thing. It would just be because I could. Well, maybe not. I'm beginning to think that when I do have money, no one will know. It will be a bigger secret than the size of my dick (pretty fucking big). I'll get married, and have kids, and blah blah blah. Then, when the bitch... (I will only come to think of her as a bitch in my old age, once I look back on the decades we've spent together and realize just how much life she's sucked out of me.) Then, when the bitch is on her death bed, I'll show her my big fat bank statement from my super secret account and say, "Thanks for loving me for me, I guess I should have let you in on some of this scratch.".
Are these the words of a man jaded? Most likely. Are these the words of a man with little money? Sure. Does that make these words any less true? Not at all.
So, this Valentines Day, what will I be doing? Well, I have the misfortune of having off that night. So I think I will go to a club, fill the jukebox with the sappiest yet uplifting love songs that the 80s produced and wait until I hear it. Wait until I hear the gentle sob of a lovely yound lady who is sad that she is alone on the one day of year devoted to love. I will approach her with a smoothness only found on an oil soaked slip and slide and offer her a single red rose. I will buy her a drink, and whisper in her ear. I'll make her quiver with the thought that at least one man thinks she's special. I'll coyly drop my massive role of cash that consists of a $50 bill wrapped in about 50 more $1 bills, and then maybe even some blank paper for good measure.
Once she is putty in my hands, I'm going to suggest we go get better aquianted. I will mercilessly fuck her until we burn holes in the sheets from all of the friction. And then I will peace the fuck out.
This Valentines Day, I'm going to do what god put me here to do..... Hit it, and quit it.
"I'm sure she'll love it", I said, with obvious disdain and the fakest smile I have ever worn.
Apparently he thought I was judging him based on the cost of his gift. (I really was only pissed because he took me from my work at 2am for a fucking stuffed dog.) He felt the need to let me know that he spent "a lot of money" on a ring for her, and that the dog was just an "opener".
Oh... now I feel better about you asshole. For a minute I thought you were a sincere gentleman that wanted to put a smile on his girl's face. My bad... you're actually just a cunt.
$$Money$$Money$$Money$$ - it says what the heart is unable to. Actually, the heart says it just fine, it's just that there is no audience to hear it.
Valentines Day is not about love, or roses, or whatever pink colored shit you can find and put chocolate inside. NOPE! Vday is about $$$$$$. Or more precisely, it's about proving that you have love, and proving that you are worthy of love buy paying for it (by/buy... see what I did there?). It's all a sham.
I don't blame this guy for feeling so insecure that he had to explain to me, a fucking grocery store employee, that a stuffed animal is not all he was getting for his woman. It's not his fault. It's the gold digging cunts out there that makes us men feel that way.... I can't blame the gold digging cunts either. It's all they've been taught growing up, and now, they are ruined. All of them.
Thats not to say that if I had money, I wouldn't buy nice things for someone I loved, but it wouldn't be such an important thing. It would just be because I could. Well, maybe not. I'm beginning to think that when I do have money, no one will know. It will be a bigger secret than the size of my dick (pretty fucking big). I'll get married, and have kids, and blah blah blah. Then, when the bitch... (I will only come to think of her as a bitch in my old age, once I look back on the decades we've spent together and realize just how much life she's sucked out of me.) Then, when the bitch is on her death bed, I'll show her my big fat bank statement from my super secret account and say, "Thanks for loving me for me, I guess I should have let you in on some of this scratch.".
Are these the words of a man jaded? Most likely. Are these the words of a man with little money? Sure. Does that make these words any less true? Not at all.
So, this Valentines Day, what will I be doing? Well, I have the misfortune of having off that night. So I think I will go to a club, fill the jukebox with the sappiest yet uplifting love songs that the 80s produced and wait until I hear it. Wait until I hear the gentle sob of a lovely yound lady who is sad that she is alone on the one day of year devoted to love. I will approach her with a smoothness only found on an oil soaked slip and slide and offer her a single red rose. I will buy her a drink, and whisper in her ear. I'll make her quiver with the thought that at least one man thinks she's special. I'll coyly drop my massive role of cash that consists of a $50 bill wrapped in about 50 more $1 bills, and then maybe even some blank paper for good measure.
Once she is putty in my hands, I'm going to suggest we go get better aquianted. I will mercilessly fuck her until we burn holes in the sheets from all of the friction. And then I will peace the fuck out.
This Valentines Day, I'm going to do what god put me here to do..... Hit it, and quit it.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
salura:
you're too good for that kind of bs. and i still want to make out with you.
salura:
agreed. so fine then no making out. i get the hint!!!