hello people i have been very busy i'll try to keep up with you guys more. life for me... well i need to get some shit worked out. i don't know whats going on any more. i'm sad but i can't find out why so for now i'm just trying to stay positive 
this is someting that Henry Rolins wrote called Brick. i think this best discribe what i'm feeling right now
in my dream i die come back as a brick. yes as a brick. I'm logged in a wall built in 1951. my exposed side face the window of the woman i loved who turned me away years before. day after day i stare into her room, into her life, i turned her come and go, i see her with different men. i can not call out i can not move i am imbedded in sament. i can do nothing but silently and emotionlessly watch. i see her alone, some time she cries and hold her face in her hands. i am forced to watch endlessly. some time she stairs out the window and looks right at me. it is excruciating to look directly into her eyes and know that she does not see me. she only sees a wall. she leaves for weeks at a time and i wonder where she is, whose she with. i wait. all the other bricks are just bricks they do not speak they don't do any thing at all. it is only my discontent that makes me believe I'm alive at all. i have no arms no legs, i feel no hot no cold, i don not sleep i do not hunger or thirst, my face is a small rectangle of smooth red clay, anonymous. sometimes i think I'm a man merrily dreaming of being a brick but the days past, and i can see enough to know that i am indeed a brick in a large wall, on day she moves away. days turn into months and soon the first year of her absence arrives. in this time i've done nothing but make up every possibility of her return to my view a potential reality. five years past my mind has begun to drift i watch squirrels and birds, i see a few traffic accidents, a robbery, leaves explode into color and fall of the branches but at night when every thing is quite i think of her she is some where i am here, always here, not waiting just here. please do not let me live my life untouched and tormented. please help me escape the tragedy of my self. i in-vision my face contorted and agonized. wild eyed my mouth frozen in mid scream never able to say the truth for ever trapped to spend it in side solid black eternity embedded silent i identical to the hundreds of bricks around me.
this is someting that Henry Rolins wrote called Brick. i think this best discribe what i'm feeling right now
in my dream i die come back as a brick. yes as a brick. I'm logged in a wall built in 1951. my exposed side face the window of the woman i loved who turned me away years before. day after day i stare into her room, into her life, i turned her come and go, i see her with different men. i can not call out i can not move i am imbedded in sament. i can do nothing but silently and emotionlessly watch. i see her alone, some time she cries and hold her face in her hands. i am forced to watch endlessly. some time she stairs out the window and looks right at me. it is excruciating to look directly into her eyes and know that she does not see me. she only sees a wall. she leaves for weeks at a time and i wonder where she is, whose she with. i wait. all the other bricks are just bricks they do not speak they don't do any thing at all. it is only my discontent that makes me believe I'm alive at all. i have no arms no legs, i feel no hot no cold, i don not sleep i do not hunger or thirst, my face is a small rectangle of smooth red clay, anonymous. sometimes i think I'm a man merrily dreaming of being a brick but the days past, and i can see enough to know that i am indeed a brick in a large wall, on day she moves away. days turn into months and soon the first year of her absence arrives. in this time i've done nothing but make up every possibility of her return to my view a potential reality. five years past my mind has begun to drift i watch squirrels and birds, i see a few traffic accidents, a robbery, leaves explode into color and fall of the branches but at night when every thing is quite i think of her she is some where i am here, always here, not waiting just here. please do not let me live my life untouched and tormented. please help me escape the tragedy of my self. i in-vision my face contorted and agonized. wild eyed my mouth frozen in mid scream never able to say the truth for ever trapped to spend it in side solid black eternity embedded silent i identical to the hundreds of bricks around me.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
nexttuesday:
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
lucy:
Your wish is my command...