joenobody

I told Keith he was so old his dentures were rotting. Then I told him he's so old he tried to get on noah's ark, and noah told him they already had 2 jackasses.

i told phil that he must be a special kind of suck ass to drive to connecticut from massachussetts to work in the rain for a fraction of what he normally makes (guys from the boston local make $10 an hour more in their pay and another $10 an hour more in their benefits than CT guys do).

two days later phil and i were screaming at each other "shut the fuck up!" "no you shut the fuck up!" i'm glad he let it go because i wouldn't have.

edwin started in on me. calling me gay, telling me my girlfriend in providence was getting fucked by her boss on her desk at brown, telling me his daughter was so much smarter than me cuz she got her masters degree and works in a bank and all that crap. so i told him i knew alot of girls down where she lives (in philadelphia where i used to live) who told their dads they had a respectable job in a bank but they really worked in strip clubs and sucked dick in the backroom for bags of coke. he got pissed off and didn't want to talk to me.

the next day edwin asked if i was racist (he's from the carribean ((sp?))). i told him no, it's got nothing to do with black people. it's you. i hate you. do you think you're the only black person in the world?

i've been calling louis "tinkerbell." i was telling him he was fat all day long and he could stand to lose some of his cellulite. "louis, if you just don't eat for a little while, you'll lose some weight." thing is, he's pretty skinny.

billy's usually my friend at work but one day he started yelling at me and challenging me to fight. i didn't back down but i started yelling back and when i figured out what his problem was, i let it go. i was hitting a wall with a hammer and he was working further down that wall and trying to mark out a measurement and i was vibrating the wall. i couldn't tell. i also didn't hear him the first 3 times he said something to me so he thought i was being a smartass.

so basically.....being an ass is part of my daily routine. you have it out with someone then you finish out the day working with someone else, then put everything behind you and everything returns to normal. i don't know why construction has to be like that sometimes but that's just the way it is.

i learned how to be an ass at a young age and i got damn good at it. it was my defense against everything. mean kids, my abusive father, my negligent mom, and the teachers who took the special time in class to humiliate you in front of everyone. some people still whine about how other kids were mean to them in school. i was mean back.

it died for a while. i hand a socially inept girlfriend who spent too much time around liberal arts people who was very passive aggressive. all that PC "sensitivity talk" is incredibly manipulative.

then i hung out with some socially inept medieval reenactor geeks who were just as bad in their own way.

so when i first got into construction, guys tore me apart everyday. i didn't know what to say or what to do, so i was a sitting duck for their pranks, bullying, and hazing. everyone there said "Give it back to 'em. You don't have to take that bullshit kid. Stand up tall, be proud (coincidentally, i had a wicked slouch too)." i got that survival instinct back quick. it took me a while to master it and fine tune the edges, but it came right back.

in the big picture, i'm glad those guys were cruel to me and i'm glad those other guys encouraged me to give it back. i will never let myself be bullied around like that again. ever. and i'm not gonna stand for the snotty, backhanded cut downs of the PC crowd or let some geeks look down their noses at me because they hide in a different world where they finally get to be the popular kids.

if i act like an ass on SG, whatever. i don't care, it's the computer. but i don't like to act like that around people i care about. it's important to me that i don't act like my dad did and i don't want to get carried away. i try to leave the attitude at work, because when i come home, i come home to people who want to see me and i'm not going to fuck that up and make the same mistakes my dad did by burning everyone who's close to me.