I've been generally dissatisfied with life recently. I've been wanting (and perhaps needing) some positive changes. That, of course, is a problem.
I guess my biggest problem could be summed up like this: All of the people I'm truly close to are around here. But absolutely nothing else is.
That's not to say I don't have friends and acquaintances scattered about. But my family and those closest friends that I know I can count on are all right around here.
This wouldn't be such a problem if I was one of these people who can make friends pretty easily, or was even just a more social person who could be out and in crowds more often. But I'm not. I'll be honest, I don't like most people. I can't relate to them, and they damn sure can't relate to me. So when an idea comes along like, "Well, I could go back to school, I was a junior and had a minor completed as of my last semester," I then immediately think, "Yeah, but where would I go, exactly what would I do, and with nobody that I know I can enjoy (or even just stand) to be around being there too, what's the odds I end up sitting around by myself getting drunk all the time? Not exactly going to do very well in class that way."
My job here is easy. The best I've ever had, though that isn't saying much. But with the schedule and the commute, I have no free time. No time to do anything, no time to meet any new people, just enough time to do the usual insignificant bullshit and sometimes hang out with my friends, which is always fun, but I don't think it's enough to really keep me going for the rest of my life. I could always try to change jobs, but anything I could get would be a shittier job with a shittier paycheck.
As I said, I could try leaving the area, but just about anywhere I went I'd have absolutely nobody to start with and I don't make friends easily. At all. Being alone in a strange place isn't exactly exhilarating.
Basically it feels that I have no options. Stay in the situation I'm in and be unhappy because aside from friends and family, I have absolutely nothing going on, or go somewhere where there may be something, but without any friends or family, which given my personality (and chemical imbalance) would soon begin to bring me down and most likely negate any positives brought on, and most likely lead to me withdrawing and negatively impacting or even ending any positive changes.
So I have no idea what to do. I know I don't want to be an old man, sitting around drunk all the time and unhappy with the course of his life, waiting on his turn to die.
I guess my biggest problem could be summed up like this: All of the people I'm truly close to are around here. But absolutely nothing else is.
That's not to say I don't have friends and acquaintances scattered about. But my family and those closest friends that I know I can count on are all right around here.
This wouldn't be such a problem if I was one of these people who can make friends pretty easily, or was even just a more social person who could be out and in crowds more often. But I'm not. I'll be honest, I don't like most people. I can't relate to them, and they damn sure can't relate to me. So when an idea comes along like, "Well, I could go back to school, I was a junior and had a minor completed as of my last semester," I then immediately think, "Yeah, but where would I go, exactly what would I do, and with nobody that I know I can enjoy (or even just stand) to be around being there too, what's the odds I end up sitting around by myself getting drunk all the time? Not exactly going to do very well in class that way."
My job here is easy. The best I've ever had, though that isn't saying much. But with the schedule and the commute, I have no free time. No time to do anything, no time to meet any new people, just enough time to do the usual insignificant bullshit and sometimes hang out with my friends, which is always fun, but I don't think it's enough to really keep me going for the rest of my life. I could always try to change jobs, but anything I could get would be a shittier job with a shittier paycheck.
As I said, I could try leaving the area, but just about anywhere I went I'd have absolutely nobody to start with and I don't make friends easily. At all. Being alone in a strange place isn't exactly exhilarating.
Basically it feels that I have no options. Stay in the situation I'm in and be unhappy because aside from friends and family, I have absolutely nothing going on, or go somewhere where there may be something, but without any friends or family, which given my personality (and chemical imbalance) would soon begin to bring me down and most likely negate any positives brought on, and most likely lead to me withdrawing and negatively impacting or even ending any positive changes.
So I have no idea what to do. I know I don't want to be an old man, sitting around drunk all the time and unhappy with the course of his life, waiting on his turn to die.