joebill

"There's something about intimidation because you see, that's the way I've always ran my life, by intimidating people. Because if you can make people fear you, you've got them one step closer to where you want them"

Well, for years, where I wanted them was away from me. And make no mistake: there are still plenty of people I want nothing to do with. But it's different now. Before, the issue was my social anxiety, and the paranoia that can result from it. That and a few experiences led to me making the decision that no one was going to walk over me. That, in and of itself, is a fine thing.

But you can take it too far, and looking back, I believe that I probably did that quite some time ago. You see, the days of social anxiety are over. The days of people trying to walk over me are also over. They have been for some time. Yet I've continued to say and do things that have intimidated others, or at least made them think I'm crazy. I suppose the old saying is true, old habits can be hard to break.

I was told a few months ago that I think about violence 24/7, and at first I actually took a little offense to this. I just didn't get it. But actually thinking about it, I do get it.

Make no mistake: I'm still going to be blunt and honest (and that's how I prefer people deal with me). There are still going to be things that evoke a strong reaction from me, and people I just don't like and want nothing to do with. And I still have no plans to let anyone walk over me. But maybe I'll wait and see if someone is going to try it before I act as if they have.