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joe_crooke

indy

Member Since 2004

Followers 3 Following 14

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Monday Apr 28, 2008

Apr 28, 2008
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Well here we are. 5 years later, and now I'm 2 weeks from finaly going on terminal leave and heading home. Heading home to Indy to a waiting job that pays nearly double what I make now, to a degree program that fits me perfectly, and in a month or so, a new home. It's setting in, this lil chapter I've carved out is over.

The trick is going to be reminding myself to be myself and not who everyone remembers. It's like talking yourself off of a bad trip, you know damn well that your most loved when your not trying. It just takes a little reassurance for yourself sometimes to be comfortable in your own skin. I do that through humor, so for me it just means not laughing to myself, but ignoring the barrier between my brain and my mouth sometimes and getting it out there - to hell with what anyone thinks.

I've decided that I'm not going back to smoking weed, I used to be a stay high in a former life. I mean, the other drugs were a no brainer, but weed is always considered differently. Exceptions like that is what have me "starting over" at 28. I know this is my last 2nd chance and I'm not fucking this up. I promise to finish what I start, not to overload myself, and to constantly and patiently place new goals infront of myself. I promise to take the leadership I've learned and apply it to my life in positive ways. To promote in my own way positive lifestyles and kindness. To take the second chance I've been given and make good on it. Most importantly, I promise to - as soon as I can - give back to the community through volenteerism.

I'll be the first to admit, my success got off to a bad start. But you know what it means when guys like me get off to a bad start? Not a god damn thing. wink

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