So I had my teeth cleaned today. It sucked. You see my mother is a hygentist and my father is a dentist, so my dad calls me up when i'm at work to tell me I know have a four a clock appointment. ugh. So, I go and now that i'm done, my one tooth has been hurting all night, plus I can still taste the nast grainy polish shit she used. I mean yay for free dental care and all, but still, its no fun for me. Steven is playing a video game and i'm hannging out on here. He told me that he would get me cup of noodle, because i'm starving but he has yet to get up! Whatever i'm sure i'll get it at some point. Its 2 in the morning and I have to get up for work which is going to be no fun, but it is friday, and I always look so forward to them. And then saturday will be spent at the coast, and that will be nice to relax, plus to see tori.
So I started to think about death tonight, and it made me cry, something that I actually haven't done in awhile. I don't know what I believe happens after a person dies, and that to me is such a nervous thought. I would like to be able to say that "i believe this happens when a person dies" with all certianty, but I can't. Plus I started thinking about what would happen if those closest to me were to die. I have experienced death, but the only person close to me that i've known die was my grandfather. He died the night before my 9th birthday, 11 years this month. It always makes me a bit sad when my birthday rolls around, and while I did get to know my grandpa for a short while, I have missed so much and never really got to experience what a wonderful person everyone says he was. Don't get me wrong, I know he was wonderful, but I wish I would have gotten to know him on an adult level, and I hope that wherever he is he can see me and at least be proud of some of the things i've accomplished and not neccisarliy the person I am, but the person that I am becoming...Okay, I dont' think I can talk about this anymore because i'm crying agian. It just feels good to get it out, because I don't really talk about my grandpa that much, I just sort of keep all of it inside.
So back to burning masses of cds so when my computer gets fixed I can have lots of good tunes for my new Ipod!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Grandpa,
I miss you. I'm glad I got to spend nine years of my life with you, and I will never forget your birthday party and that silly hat. I treause your sweatshirt, the only thing I have left other than memories. I wish you could see who i'm becoming, yes I have my problems, but i'm working hard and in the end I think I will turn into someone you could be proud of. I wish I had the chance to talk to you about going to college, get your advice, I wish you could see me walk down the aisle someday. You will be forever in my heart and Know that I love you wherever you may be. I hope you can hear me when I open my heart up to you, you are the one I know I can trust.
So I started to think about death tonight, and it made me cry, something that I actually haven't done in awhile. I don't know what I believe happens after a person dies, and that to me is such a nervous thought. I would like to be able to say that "i believe this happens when a person dies" with all certianty, but I can't. Plus I started thinking about what would happen if those closest to me were to die. I have experienced death, but the only person close to me that i've known die was my grandfather. He died the night before my 9th birthday, 11 years this month. It always makes me a bit sad when my birthday rolls around, and while I did get to know my grandpa for a short while, I have missed so much and never really got to experience what a wonderful person everyone says he was. Don't get me wrong, I know he was wonderful, but I wish I would have gotten to know him on an adult level, and I hope that wherever he is he can see me and at least be proud of some of the things i've accomplished and not neccisarliy the person I am, but the person that I am becoming...Okay, I dont' think I can talk about this anymore because i'm crying agian. It just feels good to get it out, because I don't really talk about my grandpa that much, I just sort of keep all of it inside.
So back to burning masses of cds so when my computer gets fixed I can have lots of good tunes for my new Ipod!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Grandpa,
I miss you. I'm glad I got to spend nine years of my life with you, and I will never forget your birthday party and that silly hat. I treause your sweatshirt, the only thing I have left other than memories. I wish you could see who i'm becoming, yes I have my problems, but i'm working hard and in the end I think I will turn into someone you could be proud of. I wish I had the chance to talk to you about going to college, get your advice, I wish you could see me walk down the aisle someday. You will be forever in my heart and Know that I love you wherever you may be. I hope you can hear me when I open my heart up to you, you are the one I know I can trust.