So I had bio tonight and do you really think I was productive...because I sure as hell wasn't. Lets take a look at what Jodi did/wrote in bio tonight:
*As I feel my heart tear into peices, a tear falls from my eye. This is a feeling I have never known before.I cannot focus, concentrate, think or even breathe.
You should be by my side. The touch of your skin, the feel of your breath, the press of your lips. These are all things I shall never have again, but the memory stays burned into my mind.
I just wish I knew it would be the last time. To hear your voice, to feel your embrace, I don't want to move on, but I know that I must...For my own sanity.
* If feels like there is a hole inside my soul. A part of me is missing and I don't know how to function without you. Why do I alsways feel the need to put myself through so much pain. I feel a constant need to be suffering. My emotions are drained, as is my body. I need peace and I need some sense of comfort.
*I need pain, whether it be physical or emotional. I have to put myself through the worst. As I carve the symbol in my skin I have an overwhelming sense of contentment. I know it won't last long, but it will be back.
I torture myself by finding anything I can. I sneak and pry which leeds to crying. I must feel shot. I cannot let joy into my life.
It is addicting. I like to see my flesh break open, see the red beads of blood and know that if I can just push a little deeper, the scar will remain as a reminder of the pain that consumes my life.
It feels like I will never escape this desperation. It has become my coping mechanism. Seeing my shredded hip, a mass of red, gives me comfort, lets my know that even if for a short time, I CAN feel. I am not a numb being, no matter how many times my mind tells me I am.
Yep, so that was school for me tonight...Doesn't look like I really learned anything. But you know. Anyhow i'm hitting the sack so I can forget that I have to live.
Random Picture of the day:
*As I feel my heart tear into peices, a tear falls from my eye. This is a feeling I have never known before.I cannot focus, concentrate, think or even breathe.
You should be by my side. The touch of your skin, the feel of your breath, the press of your lips. These are all things I shall never have again, but the memory stays burned into my mind.
I just wish I knew it would be the last time. To hear your voice, to feel your embrace, I don't want to move on, but I know that I must...For my own sanity.
* If feels like there is a hole inside my soul. A part of me is missing and I don't know how to function without you. Why do I alsways feel the need to put myself through so much pain. I feel a constant need to be suffering. My emotions are drained, as is my body. I need peace and I need some sense of comfort.
*I need pain, whether it be physical or emotional. I have to put myself through the worst. As I carve the symbol in my skin I have an overwhelming sense of contentment. I know it won't last long, but it will be back.
I torture myself by finding anything I can. I sneak and pry which leeds to crying. I must feel shot. I cannot let joy into my life.
It is addicting. I like to see my flesh break open, see the red beads of blood and know that if I can just push a little deeper, the scar will remain as a reminder of the pain that consumes my life.
It feels like I will never escape this desperation. It has become my coping mechanism. Seeing my shredded hip, a mass of red, gives me comfort, lets my know that even if for a short time, I CAN feel. I am not a numb being, no matter how many times my mind tells me I am.
Yep, so that was school for me tonight...Doesn't look like I really learned anything. But you know. Anyhow i'm hitting the sack so I can forget that I have to live.
Random Picture of the day:
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
grimmygrimm:
tehpeanut:
hello... 