jodi_marie

Its official...I feel drugged. All day today i've been exhuasted and feeling like someone slipped me something. But I suppose my increased meds are prolly just kicking in, Its weird though because emotionally today I have felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. thats weird for me. But its really actually not that welcome. Granted i've been feeling too much lately, but for me to feel nothing is just creepy. Ugh, I just want to get things figured out and start feeling better. I want to be able to go to class and focus and not have my mind racing about literaly a million other things, I want to be able to sleep without pills, I want to not cry, I want to find things that I enjoy and that make me happy.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Life just sucks right now. I need support. I need help and I need hugs. I need my body to stop aching, my head to stop hurting and my heart to heal. I need a different life. or else, just a happy one.


*EDIT*
Wow, did I have a crazy day. I feel nothing still, and I still feel doped up. I had a umm "strange moment" today... I honestly don't know how it happened, but somehow I ended up peircing my own nose. I really don't know why I did it, or how I got the thought in my mind to do it, but I ended up with a hole and a ball in my nose and said "shit! what did I just do"
But if you want to see it here it is.