jnthn

Indeed:

"I'm over at John's to pick up my stuff and he's not answering the door..."
:ok. what's up?
"I'm just parked on the street, I figure I'd wait until the bars get out, what time do they get out?"
:2 is when they shut. you've got another hour at least.
"fuck. maybe I'll just wait a little while longer and maybe crash at yours if that's ok..."
:yeah, fine, I'm fading but I live a block away from where you are, so just call..
"wanna get a drink?"
:no I'm in my underwear and about to crash.
"ok, I'll call you back..."

so she comes over, back up a journal to hear the story, but basically she caught her man making out w/some girl in the DJ booth. Oh well, make stupid decidsions, end up in stupid situations.

I have a soft spot for her...the only damsel in distress I have time for, but at this point I've shelved last year's notions of being the clean up man, and at this point I just see it as someone who could probably use ONE semi-sane voice in her life, so I give it at a distance. Basically testing to see how much of a friend she is willing to be, because I need a good team -- yes, I'm scrutinizing a lot. My horoscope agreed even after I made up my mind to clean house.

So when she arrived the pain was already creeping up the back of my neck to my temples, to the center of my face. I know the sign, but didn't have anything to stave it off, save drinking down some Aleve w/DC tap water -- which can be worse than a migrane.

Woke @ 6am feeling agony. 3 times a year...like clockwork. owwww....

She had tried to move close to me at one point, rub my back and head on my shoulder. I looked at her and smiled and went back to sleep. Thinking about it today, how many times had I wanted to be in that situation and to do more? I didn't want it. I didn't want anything. I doubt she did either, but I wouldn't have put it past her. I think she got the hint though. I don't want it. I'm glad I could help. I won't fix her, don't have any illusions of that, but I was happy to be a port in the storm.

Woke today @ 12:30, later than I wanted. took me at least an hour to weather the pain, moving every five seconds so the blood didn't gather in one part of my sinuses or whatever, rubbed my neck. Oh to have not finished off the tiger balm. Oh to have a vicodin. Something, anything. So much pain. Fuck!

Got up and went to the Tryst after writing about $500 in checks to send out and pay the studio $1400....there's almost all my money. Coffee (oh, sweet relief. Good for a migrane, good for Jonathan in general!) and subsequently 3 shots of Jaeger. Better. The pain is now just dull pressure. It'll be back tonight. I'll be ready. My ex- used to feed me pamprin or midol. I understand. That shit rules. So what if it's "girl drugs..." pain is pain, and while I tend to ignore pain, headaches, which I used to get on the regular thanks to VA's grass pollen, I can't deal...

Anyway, 3 shots of Jaeger. This afternoon is shot other than some extremely creative thoughts and thoroughly enjoying the overcast intermittant drizzle. I love it. The air is so easy. Atmosphere, it's a big deal with me.

Totally got blown off for my movie date last night, but she asked today if I was going to Spilt Milk tonight. "Let's get drunk together."

Sounds ace.

I'll be there.

This buzz is nice. The breeze picked up through the window and I can hear the rain. Back to this track...

xo