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jjchong

SoCal

Member Since 2004

Followers 1 Following 11

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Thursday Jun 16, 2005

Jun 16, 2005
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k. so by now I've noticed that no one is commenting on my journals, so I figure if ppl are reading, they either don't care enough to say "hi", or are simply voyeuristic (which is mostly ok). Hence, I just want to make it known to whoever might read this that this and probably future journal entries are written to noone else but me. I'm not saying I see any value in writing to one's self, but I'm gonna do it anyhow because I suppose I feel the need to rant even if I don't believe anyone is necessarily listening. Perhaps I can know myself better, and that may prove satisfying in a way. Maybe not
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I still do not really have a job or a plan for my future. The landlord thing I guess will continue on a small basis, and if I can get my credit to rebound who knows how many months or years from now, perhaps I will have an opportunity to try it out again, this time wiser, hopefully, from my mistakes...
I am man. Hear me __?__.
We are infinitesimally small. Most likely Unimportant, for in the absolute absence of purpose what is left but daydreaming?
Man feels that life is worth living, but I think this is mostly because optimism facilitates reproduction. Damn optimists.
Kill me now. but only if you have a better grasp of what life's about.
I'm not saying I'm locked into believing this, but for the last couple years it's mostly felt like the forces running the universe are either impersonal, impotent, or egotistic (hopefully not downright sadistic). God's love certainly isn't what I learned it was in Sunday School.
Calvin and Hobbes rocks, even though by being exposed to it rather than normal comics I in some sense became the pessimistic philosophic loner that is the kid. Then again, Mom and Dad didn't help so much with that, either
blackeyed.
I need to contact some old friends.
Geez I'm pathetic.
Finally, some edification:
As a general rule, people, even the wicked, are much more naive and simple-hearted than we suppose. And we ourselves are, too.
-Dostoevsky (Brothers Karamazov)

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