jjay

So my head, it hurts. I think I need a nap and some hot tea.

Need to finish a paper and study for a final.

I need out of this hole, anyone got a ladder?

So I included this random thing I wrote the other day. My feelings on it: its okay. Any comments criticisms would be appreciated.

The darkness of the room tucked her in to a black quilt of comfort. It was late and she was exhausted, strung out on her own emotions. The days events had left a fuzzy taste in her mouth and she hurt all over. Gingerly rolling to her side she faced him, his heavy breathing began to sooth her senses and numb the memories of the days events. The rise and fall of his chest mesmerized her like the warm inviting glow of a camp fire playing with her eyes and calling her in, up and down, rise and fall a constant. Her head ached and pounded keeping time with his breathing creating a nauseating rhythm of pain and comfort. She remembered the first time they met, how he had made her laugh and forget about the bullshit for a few moments but now he was the bullshit. The butterflies in her stomach had all died, withered with time. The excitement was gone and she needed something more. Thats what today had been, a quick trip into the world of pure feeling. Still watching the rise and fall of his chest she began to feel the guilt creep in, a cold hand slowly making its way up her back. She shivered and threw her arm around his body, snuggling close. Hey your back. He was awake now. How did it go? He had no idea. He was an ignorant ball of trust, a thing she now played with. Okay she replied sinking deeper into his warmth. Thats good his voice distorted by a yawn. Was Liz there? She ignored him hiding her face in his body searching for his heartbeat. She didnt want to talk she just wanted to be. His arms wrapped around her slowly, soothing the remnants of guilt left on her spine, with their enveloping trust. Her head now on his chest lifted and descended with his breathing. She could hear the heartbeat and it further soothed the pain. This is so simple, she thought to herself, so easy. Why did they need anything else? This was what forever felt like, a constant soothing rhythm, free of pain and feeling, just being. But this wasnt forever, soon enough the rhythm would be broken, torn apart by her own actions. She knew all of this and hated herself for it. The need for consumption had ruined the purity of it all and her eyes swelled with regret and confusion. He was asleep again, breathing just as heavily as before and she cried on his chest, rising and falling with each ingestion of life. The soothing rhythm had already begun to be dismantled piece by piece in her own mind, by her own guilt.