jjay

i used to think most people didn't like me but than i figured out that it was me that didn't like them. seriously i despise talking to people...even those I really like and care for. okay, well not all the time but alot of the time. I mean i have people that this is not an issue with but overall i go out of my way to avoid contact with others. Its a pretty constant antisocial trend but lately its been pretty bad. I think it might have something to do with being sober. Now I realize why I drink so much. It helps me function and act "normal" I guess fit in...sad really. OH well right? its who i am. I've always been this way. People used to call me shy and timid but i really don't think thats the case at all.

geez this journal makes me out to be so unpleasant, i guess its the ranting i do. In reality i'm usually pleasant company and could talk your ear off but i only let so few people get that close.

life is pretty shitty right now. I'm always tired and stressed. between work and school i have no time for myself and I hate it. I dunno if i told you this but i've also started observations at the neighborhood highschool and middle school. its not hard stuff just adds to the grind. its been an experience to say the least.

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