about to give my mom the news....
update:
11:30 am: no one answered. i'll try back later.
11:56 am: called her cell phone and talked to her briefly. she was in public and i didn't want to give her the news then. i told her i'd call her back in two hours...so the countdown begins.
12:10 pm: talked to my brother briefly. i don't know why i bother calling him, he ends up pissing me off everytime. but he asked if i was coming home this weekend to see my aunt and her family whom i haven't seen since i was like six. i said yeas and he asked if i was bringing josh and i said no. and you know what he says?? "good. cuz it's a kind of a family only thing." WTF!! they know josh and i are joined at the hips and they know i want to marry him. you'd think after two years, they'd consider him family already. so i ended up getting emotional, biting my tongue and just ending the conversation early. sigh. why does my family have to be against me??
2:10pm: my hands are all sweaty and my heart is beating horribly fast. nervous and scared are not even close to what i am feeling right now. and i'm only about to tell my mom...i'm gonna be sad with her reaction. my dad's is the one i am the most worried about. here goes nothing...
2:21 pm: called home again. no answer. but i know she's home cuz my message is off the answering machine. breath, jess, breath.
2:41 pm: well it's official. i'm a huge disappointment in my mother's eyes. "why aare you always disappointing me?" i can't stop crying. it's not the hormones this time. she called me sneaky, a liar...i can't even remember what else. then she started to cry. refused to tell my father (which i didn't want her to do anyways). and she kept asking if i was showing. i'm not going home for christmas. i decided and she didn't necessarily disagree with me. i told her that i cannot be emotionally stressed out by their reactions and treatment of me when i'm down there, because that is going to effect me emotionally and physically. "you broke my heart. after i begged you not to break my heart, you finally did."
2:55 pm: my brother didn't disagree with my idea of not coming home for christmas. i figured i've ruined it for everyone, so why should i just be a physical reminder??
3:48 pm: despite my emotional state, i 'm gonna try and go to work tonight. we'll see how that works out. i think i might just go with josh to missouri...problem is cramming me, him, and his sister into the front seat of a tiny ass gmc sonoma. plus what the hell am i gonna do with the dog? i guess she can ride in the back, but do you think it'll be too cold for her, even in her kennel??
10:43 pm: My mom told my dad against my wishes. i didn't want to put her in that position. here's his e-mail:
I'll not be so sarcastic as to say congratulations. I hope you appreciate
that I am very sad, disappointed, extremely pissed, and so concerned
that this shouldn't be happening right now with the existing circumstances.
So let me air. To start, none of this is about Joshua personally. But believe
me it is going to be all about him real soon and for God's sake, I hope he
realizes it and takes action to deal with it.
When you were here a few months back, Joshua knew he couldn't get health insurance for himself let alone you and a baby. He said he couldn't and said that you needed to do something to get health insurance. We talked about health insurance. And he knew then you were pregnant. Already a cop out.
1. Are you married yet? Josh can't possibly buy health insurance to care for a mother and child unless he is married to you. If you can have a child by him, marry him, now. Take no excuses, none.
2. Has Josh quit the band and conncentrated his efforts on taking
another job? Take no excuses. He needs to be working every waking hour to pay for this privilege.
3. How are you going to finance the birth and care of a baby? Seriously,
how?
4. When do you quit work and school? You probably make less than
daycare costs so there is likelihood that you'll have to quit your job and stay
at home with the baby, and that means school too. A baby will always come
first, always. ALWAYS
I suspect all of these things have crossed your mind more than once and
neither one of you probably have a clue of how this is going work realistically. The smartest thing for Joshua to do is join the military, so that both of you will be taken care of. Whatever it takes. Will he. I know the answer. Please send your ID card back in the mail. I'll be contacting the Navy to remove you as a dependent. Your Joshua's responsibility now.
So basically, I have to find a new hospital and doctor wince the one I'm going to right now is on base. And i'm filling out paperwork for food stamps and medicaid. If only this hospital accepted medicaid, I wouldn't be too stressed. Any advice is appreciated.
update:
11:30 am: no one answered. i'll try back later.
11:56 am: called her cell phone and talked to her briefly. she was in public and i didn't want to give her the news then. i told her i'd call her back in two hours...so the countdown begins.
12:10 pm: talked to my brother briefly. i don't know why i bother calling him, he ends up pissing me off everytime. but he asked if i was coming home this weekend to see my aunt and her family whom i haven't seen since i was like six. i said yeas and he asked if i was bringing josh and i said no. and you know what he says?? "good. cuz it's a kind of a family only thing." WTF!! they know josh and i are joined at the hips and they know i want to marry him. you'd think after two years, they'd consider him family already. so i ended up getting emotional, biting my tongue and just ending the conversation early. sigh. why does my family have to be against me??
2:10pm: my hands are all sweaty and my heart is beating horribly fast. nervous and scared are not even close to what i am feeling right now. and i'm only about to tell my mom...i'm gonna be sad with her reaction. my dad's is the one i am the most worried about. here goes nothing...
2:21 pm: called home again. no answer. but i know she's home cuz my message is off the answering machine. breath, jess, breath.
2:41 pm: well it's official. i'm a huge disappointment in my mother's eyes. "why aare you always disappointing me?" i can't stop crying. it's not the hormones this time. she called me sneaky, a liar...i can't even remember what else. then she started to cry. refused to tell my father (which i didn't want her to do anyways). and she kept asking if i was showing. i'm not going home for christmas. i decided and she didn't necessarily disagree with me. i told her that i cannot be emotionally stressed out by their reactions and treatment of me when i'm down there, because that is going to effect me emotionally and physically. "you broke my heart. after i begged you not to break my heart, you finally did."
2:55 pm: my brother didn't disagree with my idea of not coming home for christmas. i figured i've ruined it for everyone, so why should i just be a physical reminder??
3:48 pm: despite my emotional state, i 'm gonna try and go to work tonight. we'll see how that works out. i think i might just go with josh to missouri...problem is cramming me, him, and his sister into the front seat of a tiny ass gmc sonoma. plus what the hell am i gonna do with the dog? i guess she can ride in the back, but do you think it'll be too cold for her, even in her kennel??
10:43 pm: My mom told my dad against my wishes. i didn't want to put her in that position. here's his e-mail:
I'll not be so sarcastic as to say congratulations. I hope you appreciate
that I am very sad, disappointed, extremely pissed, and so concerned
that this shouldn't be happening right now with the existing circumstances.
So let me air. To start, none of this is about Joshua personally. But believe
me it is going to be all about him real soon and for God's sake, I hope he
realizes it and takes action to deal with it.
When you were here a few months back, Joshua knew he couldn't get health insurance for himself let alone you and a baby. He said he couldn't and said that you needed to do something to get health insurance. We talked about health insurance. And he knew then you were pregnant. Already a cop out.
1. Are you married yet? Josh can't possibly buy health insurance to care for a mother and child unless he is married to you. If you can have a child by him, marry him, now. Take no excuses, none.
2. Has Josh quit the band and conncentrated his efforts on taking
another job? Take no excuses. He needs to be working every waking hour to pay for this privilege.
3. How are you going to finance the birth and care of a baby? Seriously,
how?
4. When do you quit work and school? You probably make less than
daycare costs so there is likelihood that you'll have to quit your job and stay
at home with the baby, and that means school too. A baby will always come
first, always. ALWAYS
I suspect all of these things have crossed your mind more than once and
neither one of you probably have a clue of how this is going work realistically. The smartest thing for Joshua to do is join the military, so that both of you will be taken care of. Whatever it takes. Will he. I know the answer. Please send your ID card back in the mail. I'll be contacting the Navy to remove you as a dependent. Your Joshua's responsibility now.
So basically, I have to find a new hospital and doctor wince the one I'm going to right now is on base. And i'm filling out paperwork for food stamps and medicaid. If only this hospital accepted medicaid, I wouldn't be too stressed. Any advice is appreciated.
VIEW 25 of 44 COMMENTS
Trust me, though - as long as you and Josh are sure that you can take care of yourselves, you will. Now you have something much bigger than the two of you to focus on, and it should do nothing but bring you together.
And your family will catch up.
Much love to you, honey. We're all thinking of you!
Good luck, Jessica. I wish you and yours the best of luck and I am very sorry to hear that you're family took the news so badly...give them time, I'm sure they'll come around, most parents do, they're just terrified for you...*hugs*