jimmysweatpants

My 8 year old just roasted an adult.

I'm visiting with my kids and the oldest and youngest are asleep. My middle child, Lucas is watching a magician on Netflix with me, my co-parent, Lindsey, and one of her friends. Her friend commented at something that she hated people and my son out of nowhere retorted "so you hate yourself and me?" We all laughed...
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I did a magic trick. I extended my hand out my truck window, threw my cigarette downward, and hoky pocus, it's on my seat under my testicles 🧞♂️

So, this morning I went into the pilot (truck stop) I was parked at and went to the subway. There was already someone ordering so I waited. This dude ordered, but when it came to the end he said "Oh, and salt and pepper". The SAMMICH ARTIST complied and salted and peppered the sammich. He then asked if it was satisfactory, to which the man...
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