So my resolution to document my progress with attempting to self-publish my novel Otorongo has led me to the present situation, which has got me pretty fucked. Don't know how else to put it, exactly. I'm a fiction writer. The thing about reporting, i.e. nonfiction, which I have done very little of over the years, but just enough to know, is that trying to lay out what's actually really going on with something in understandable terms is a lot harder than just making shit up.
So the marketing dude at iUniverse assigned to me calls me up today and says he wants to aggressively market Otorongo. Ad in the New York Times, Publishers Weekly, get people to review the durn book. He wants to put the book out there. He loves the book. Ever hear of Fifty Shades of Gray, he asks me? Suddenly I've got stars in my eyes. I'm on the fucking NY Times Best Seller list. I'm getting rich off Otorongo!
Man, the pitfalls of writing fiction. Fifty years of it with zero success in my case. And now I go the self-publishing route and they want to aggressively market my book. Naturally this is going to cost money. A LOT of money. An ad in the NY Times? You fuckin' kidding me? Get the thing reviewed? Huh?? I guess it's not appropriate to give the figure, but we're talking buying a low end car kind of money. And for what? No guarantee. What if nobody reads the ad? What if the reviewers say the book sucks? To me it sounds like heading into the car dealership, looking around, taking a car out for a spin, saying I'll take it, giving them the money, and they say, "Oh, by the way, here you go. Spin this roulette wheel and if your lucky number comes up you can have the car. But if it doesn't we keep the car and the money.
Is this something I want to do? I mean, it sounds like a ridiculous risk of serious money, but why am I even bothering to publish the book if I'm not willing to put my money where my mouth is? I mean, did I really think I could "publish" the thing for $1500? Sure, they'll print it out for that amount, but who's going to buy it? Who's going to read it?
Well, I've got tonight to think about it. Then I've got to make a decision.
Reality is so fucking weird? Do I even know what I'm doing and why? Not really. Just along for the ride.
Woowheee!!!
