Threw my pitching wedge on 18 today and broke it. I've been shooting 81, 82 every time I play lately, but I can't break 80. I've had a 37 and a 38 on the back nine, and 39 twice on the front, but not at the same time. So on 18 today after bogeying 16 and 17 and needing a birdie on 18 and fucking up I threw my pitching wedge at my golf cart and broke it in half. It was a clean break. It was a Cobra graphite shaft. They break nice and clean.
I had to do it. I had just hit a completely unacceptable shot. What are you supposed to do? Just smile and pretend like what just happened wasn't in fact totally unacceptable?
On the other hand, I don't think I really want to break 80. I want to shoot my age, but that's not going to happen for a while (I'm 68). Meanwhile, I dislike myself when I succeed. On the other hand, I'm very compassionate toward myself when I fail. Here I've broken my beloved golf club and failed to break 80 for the umpteenth time in a row (it's been over a year), and I actually feel very mellow about the whole mess. My mom died a few weeks ago. She loved golf. We used to play together sometimes, and after she got too old to play, through the fog of her dementia she would listen to my golf stories and give me good advice. Always positive. Always interested. Don't know what she'd have to say about me breaking my club. They're kind of expensive. I don't do that very often. Probably wouldn't have told her about that.
Anyway. I did what I had to do.
Golf sucks.