Ha, I knew it. The second you start to project the idea that you're taken, the possibilities come crawling out of the woodwork. Another chick I've been seeing strictly as friends for months now tells me she's been crushing on me all along. That's nuts, since I flat out told her I was chasing the one I'm with now. Plus we had "that" talk a...
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The sex has been great in my latest relationship. Problem is, we started out as friends. We're still friends and enjoying the benefits, but I can tell she wants more. I don't... not yet, anyway. We're very compatible, but she lacks that extra *wow* quality I want to admire in a woman. She's intelligent but not imaginative. She's good, but (unlike Frosted Flakes) not grrrrreat....
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xip:
I still check my email on writing.com, definitely...
I'm going through a similar sitch with my ex right now... we still fuck like animals and I LIKE him... but he just isn't passionate, and he doesn't pursue things that interest him... he prefers to watch tv, play video games, and smoke pot... he's just unstimulated...which doesn't stimulate me.. I'm waiting for someone who cares about SOMETHING
xip
I'm going through a similar sitch with my ex right now... we still fuck like animals and I LIKE him... but he just isn't passionate, and he doesn't pursue things that interest him... he prefers to watch tv, play video games, and smoke pot... he's just unstimulated...which doesn't stimulate me.. I'm waiting for someone who cares about SOMETHING
xip
~ Supposer ~
thumb to my chin scruff, I proverbially ponder
not who is younger or the wiser
or spouts thoughts like dirty water from a geyser
but about a certain force of nature
who tenderizes my heart beneath her bulldozer
beautiful and oblivious to he who sits here
a stonily silent poser
thumb to my chin scruff, I proverbially ponder
not who is younger or the wiser
or spouts thoughts like dirty water from a geyser
but about a certain force of nature
who tenderizes my heart beneath her bulldozer
beautiful and oblivious to he who sits here
a stonily silent poser
xip:
"Spout thoughts like dirty water from a geyser"
I LOVE ANALOGIES!
I also like "tenderizes my heart beneath her bulldozer." That is fantastic imagry, for which I am a sap.
-xip
I LOVE ANALOGIES!
I also like "tenderizes my heart beneath her bulldozer." That is fantastic imagry, for which I am a sap.
-xip
xip:
Where ARE you?!
xip
xip
Sometimes when you're in trouble, you get a tongue-lashing or you get chewed out. Strange how those are exciting things in bed, huh?
Growing up, I never thought I'd enjoy giving cunnilingus. Like it once, sure, but want to do it again? Dunno why but I thought not. Perhaps because I was educated by books and not a gracious partner.
However, turning a fiery bitch...
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Growing up, I never thought I'd enjoy giving cunnilingus. Like it once, sure, but want to do it again? Dunno why but I thought not. Perhaps because I was educated by books and not a gracious partner.
However, turning a fiery bitch...
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xip:
So I wrote that article; it's something I'd been intending to write for about a year now and only just gotten around to it. Well it was supposed to be an article. It turns out I can't stop writing poetry anymore. But anyway, so I wrote it, my boyfriend read it. Me, my boyfriend, and his/our roommate went out for cigarettes. We stopped at a gas station. My boyfriend's roommate, Adam, climbed out of the car and turned to me and said: "If Dorian goes down on you tonight, can I have a pack of cigarettes?" (he was running in with my money) and the response that came immediately to my brain was "Dorian's not going to go down on me tonight, but you can have a pack anyway," but then I froze and knew that would be bitchy and uncalled for so instead I replied, "Maybe," and Adam said, "Dorian, go down on her tonight," and went in and bought us both cigarettes.
Dorian and I have been dating about 4 months now, monogamously. I live in his apartment now. We're all over each other all the time and we say we love each other and have all the drama emo moments and whatnot that come with love.
After I wrote that article, well poem, and started reflecting on my oral sex life, I realized... I go down on Dorian like.. almost every time we fool around.. sometimes we don't even have sex, I just give him head... he says it's the best he's ever had... he's gone down on me.. like.. twice.. in our entire relationship. To be honest I can only REMEMBER once, but because I'm sure it couldn't possibly only be once, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's gone down on me twice and I'm just forgetting one time.
I'm pretty sure it's not my personal taste. With all the times I've masturbated, and gotten curious about my taste, I've never felt that I tasted bad. I was usually pretty pleased, actually.
I know it's just oral sex, and it shouldn't affect my mood, really.
But it did.
I was depressed the rest of the night and continue to feel unattractive and unwanted this morning.
(He didn't go down on me last night either, but that wasn't so much a disappointment as it was foreseen.)
I just have to shake it, and come to conclusion that it's his problem and has nothing to do with me personally. But I'm not that kind of person. I'm highly sensitive, and self-important. So I can't stop feeling ugly and gross.
He knows something's wrong but I don't know how to bridge the topic, or if it's even worth bridging.
Fuck it.
Masturbation works.
You just have to learn your limitations with certain people, and what you can't expect from them, and not blame yourself.
But I blame myself anyway.
Because I'm not only ugly and gross, but stupid.
xip
Dorian and I have been dating about 4 months now, monogamously. I live in his apartment now. We're all over each other all the time and we say we love each other and have all the drama emo moments and whatnot that come with love.
After I wrote that article, well poem, and started reflecting on my oral sex life, I realized... I go down on Dorian like.. almost every time we fool around.. sometimes we don't even have sex, I just give him head... he says it's the best he's ever had... he's gone down on me.. like.. twice.. in our entire relationship. To be honest I can only REMEMBER once, but because I'm sure it couldn't possibly only be once, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's gone down on me twice and I'm just forgetting one time.
I'm pretty sure it's not my personal taste. With all the times I've masturbated, and gotten curious about my taste, I've never felt that I tasted bad. I was usually pretty pleased, actually.
I know it's just oral sex, and it shouldn't affect my mood, really.
But it did.
I was depressed the rest of the night and continue to feel unattractive and unwanted this morning.
(He didn't go down on me last night either, but that wasn't so much a disappointment as it was foreseen.)
I just have to shake it, and come to conclusion that it's his problem and has nothing to do with me personally. But I'm not that kind of person. I'm highly sensitive, and self-important. So I can't stop feeling ugly and gross.
He knows something's wrong but I don't know how to bridge the topic, or if it's even worth bridging.
Fuck it.
Masturbation works.
You just have to learn your limitations with certain people, and what you can't expect from them, and not blame yourself.
But I blame myself anyway.
Because I'm not only ugly and gross, but stupid.
xip
jianshen:
Hrm, perhaps you don't give good enough feedback when he goes down on you? A good loud whimper is positive reinforcement to let the guy know it's great and to keep doing what he's doing. Unless you're noisy and squirmy with your appreciation, he may feel clumsy and reluctant to try it again. That's how guys' insecurity works (and also why masturbation never loses its charm! heh).
today Sprinkle Down was released, and I felt the release... it was my will evaporating in helpless droplets, to pool at the feet of a goddess masquerading as a friend. she suffers and I am buried in the depths of her expression's debris. wondrous woman, I am flabbergasted and loving the shortness of my breath and my rapidly rising er--attention span.
~A Pounding~
I whoosh away the smoke and wow
hey, you found me
in a time of lovely excruciating neediness,
so pound me
like you've got something to prove,
because you do.
don't tease or tantalize -
if you prize me, traumatize me
until i'm numb from the ministrations
of my lover
and it takes a week
for my tender loins to recover
I whoosh away the smoke and wow
hey, you found me
in a time of lovely excruciating neediness,
so pound me
like you've got something to prove,
because you do.
don't tease or tantalize -
if you prize me, traumatize me
until i'm numb from the ministrations
of my lover
and it takes a week
for my tender loins to recover
~New City~
I want there to be time
for visiting and sins
and signs and sighs
and a new city of parks and
boats and sunrising skies
I want to shiver and shake
in my shorts like a fool
until I jump into a heated lake
and lose my cool
I want there to be time
for visiting and sins
and signs and sighs
and a new city of parks and
boats and sunrising skies
I want to shiver and shake
in my shorts like a fool
until I jump into a heated lake
and lose my cool
marlowe:
so... ummmm... how about that weather...
?
?
?
?
?
?
I am here to read the enchanting words of the siren Xip.
She makes me feel a step away from never-never-land.
She makes me feel a step away from never-never-land.
xip:
I am so intrigued by you. Who are you? Why me? I went on MSN looking for you, but you weren't there.
-xip
-xip