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jezzied

Southport

Member Since 2014

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A bit of writing

Jan 14, 2015
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I hope you don't mind, but I thought I'd share the opening few words of a fantasy story I'm kind of stalled on at the moment. Please feel free to comment with suggestions and/or criticism. I'm more than happy for people to pick apart my work. :)

“Where are we going?”

Excited and knowing, Ecbert's smile was the only answer Rowena's question received. Her hand felt small in his, as they ran together through the widely spaced trees up the starlit slope towards...

“It's...” Despite Ecbert's presence and the growing sense of anticipation within her, Rowena couldn't quite bring herself to finish her statement. For what word could she use to describe the place to which, after weeks of gentle but persistent pleading, the foremost of her three suitors had brought her?

Breathtaking? It was certainly that. It thrust upwards from the hillock like a broken tooth, its crumbling stone silvered by moonlight, three long dark openings punctuating the highest of its four walls. As Ecbert guided her closer towards it, she saw other piles of tumbled stone scattered around the summit, but the tower alone was intact, battered but surviving. Tenacious.

She licked her lips and darted a glance at Ecbert's eager face. He was watching her, dark eyes glittering in the silver light. How he had changed in the last few months! He was no longer the awkward gangly lad she had chased in the meadows behind her father's house. His shoulders were broader, his face rough with a patchy growth of beard. And his eyes. There was something in them that she had not seen before. It was there now as he watched her expectantly. Confidently.

Feeling the pressure of his gaze, Rowena glanced again at the tower, taking another uncertain step towards it.

“... amazing,” she breathed. “It's amazing.”

Ecbert grinned. “I knew you'd like it. Come on!” Eagerly, he led her towards the hill's summit.

As she jogged towards the tower, her free hand gathering up her skirts, she recalled the stories her mother had told her of this place: how it had been built by the giants who had claimed these lands many years ago; how their ghosts lingered under the stars on nights like this, yearning for their empire that had crumbled away like the silver cliffs of the eastern shires. But she did not feel apprehensive as, Ecbert leading the way, she gained the hill's top and walked towards the ancient stone building. The shiver of fear she had felt as a girl when her mother had told her those tales was now eclipsed by an altogether more powerful thrill.

She glanced across at Ecbert. He was staring up at the tower, a look of rapt wonder on his face. Yes, she thought. He had changed, and that change was not just to do with the breadth of his shoulders or the handsome lines of his face. Could she spend the rest of her life with a man who was strong enough to show his amazement at the strangeness and beauty of the world?

Ecbert saw her expression and, understanding its meaning straight away, grinned once more.

“Let's go inside!”

Still smiling as she toyed with imaginings of the future and who it may or may not include, she walked with him towards the base of the tower.

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